Hey guys, have you ever noticed that social awkwardness can be a real killer for men out there? It's like, if you don't have the right social skills, you're dead in the water when it comes to dating and relationships. It sucks, but it's true. How do you all deal with this?

AaViOnBando · 2023-04-18T17:09:38+00:00

In my experience it is fixed this way:

and most important, become more physically attractive, forget women, go to the gym religiously for a year and you will already be a new person, then go to the mal and get yourself some clothes that fit you good.
more social experience = less social fear , go to clubs with your friends, go on trips, if you have no friend make friends. Talk to more women.
outcome independence, there's COUNTLESS women out there, many of which would like to sleep with you or even be with you long term without playing stupid games, if you don't see it working out, move on to the next.

SolidusMonkey · 2023-04-18T16:36:48+00:00

One thing that's been bugging me is that even in 2021, guys are still expected to make the first move most of the time.

Running some rerun posts?

KingWhoCared86 · 2023-04-18T16:55:36+00:00

I just accepted it and moved on to hobbies that pass the time and loneliness.

LukasuckD1 · 2023-04-18T17:03:04+00:00

Communication is a two way street. Game is basically a woman allowing herself to be seduced vice versa as well

50plus500 · 2023-04-18T17:42:28+00:00

Don't bother replying. This user is a repost bot. It edits the text (with something like ChatGPT) and reposts 3-4 months old posts.

Original post is here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zm58ye/social_awkwardness_is_the_biggest_death_sentence/

Social awkwardness is the biggest death sentence for men

This isn't to say looks don't play an important factor. They do, for both genders. But they aren't the only factor involved, contrary to what I often hear claimed in PPD.

For all the talk of equality, that we live in the 21st century, men are still expected to make the first move most of the time. We need to ask her out, initiate the kiss, initiate things going further, bring up the topic of sex, etc. Now there are exceptions, but as a general rule, this is still how it works. I've had conversations where women complain about guys hitting on them all the time, but also want the guy to make the first move. So the messaging is a mite confusing, to say the least.

I've seen average looking and even ugly men manage fine, even those who weigh 350 pounds and fit every white trash stereotype you could possibly think of. In many cases, I don't understand the appeal, but they've got some form of social calibration. If you're shy and struggle with social cues, given a man usually has to approach, it's going to be a lot more difficult.

I'm on the autism spectrum and have yet to find a way for me not to appear awkward, so I know this first-hand. In the virgin/FA forums, something like 30% of men are autistic, and this number goes up with older men. (30+) Looks make things easier, but they're not a magical key that'll give you lots of relationships.

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Lovers691 · 2023-04-18T17:11:00+00:00

It is but ugly guy don’t do fine in the dating world they struggle and then either get an ugly wife(same lookslevel) or career max and get a more attractive wife. That being said game is required but if you want decent looking women you also need to looksmax.

AngeCruelle · 2023-04-18T17:28:40+00:00

My BF is ND, possibly on the autism spectrum. The struggles you mention sound a lot like his. We met while he was practicing starting conversations and small talk with people. I actually generally don't like to be approached in public, but he was so polite and sincere I didn't mind it. It was just a risk he decided to take one day, not expecting anything to come out of it. And now we've been together for over a year now.

nonplussedminus · 2023-04-18T17:37:53+00:00

You can improve your social skills like you would improve any other skill, by practising them. Start by practising smalltalk. Even if it's completely meaningless bullshit, like saying "Nice weather today, huh?" to the cashier when you're buying groceries (believe me cashiers are grateful for any customer who treats them like a human for a change). Go out and partake in as many social activities as you can where you talk to others. Practise striking up conversations with guys. A good place for this is concerts where you can always find some guy who is pacing around by himself, usually he will be grateful because you freed him from the awkwardness of being alone at a social event. If people react negatively just apologize for bothering them and leaven them be. The more you talk to people the easier it will be, the more you do it the more you will learn to read their reactions. Practise asking questions about peoples interests and talking a bit about yourself. If you are doing some activity, like sports, a good thing is to ask them how they got into the activity. You will probably make some mistakes at first like saying awkward shit or not knowing how to respond to some things, but the more you practise those issues will go away.

*I am not sure if this stuff works the same way for an autistic person. Maybe you should ask some kind of councellor about it.

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