Moving countries

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-05-23T06:22:08+00:00

Plan is video calls coming to see them
when i can and on holidays/summer

Sir, I'll be blunt and direct. You will lose these kids completely. It may not happen quickly. You might maintain contact with them for a few months or even a year. But with your plan, the fate of your relationship is sealed. They're gone.

The calls will grow fewer and fewer, shorter and shorter. Soon, you'll have nothing to talk about. They'll have lives you won't know anything about.

You might be able to see them in the summer if you have the money. But it also depends on your ex-wife. If she's unhappy or unsure, she'll never let them go.

The ONLY thing you can do now is devote yourself to staying nearby and getting a court order that puts them in your life for some fraction of time. And be a constant presence in their life. You say you can't afford it. Well, figure it out. Get it done.

I've seen it many times before. There really are only two paths from here. The sooner you decide which path it will be, the better. Hesitate, and the path will be chosen for you.

Melynthos1492 · 2023-05-23T06:50:53+00:00

You need to find a way to stay in the country or consider the kids lost. Can’t you goto school or do something to upskill

life-is-short- · 2023-05-23T13:05:52+00:00

I have similar situation. As people rightly said you will lose kids unless you will have in person interaction. Plan your and their free time to be able to visit each other.

donkeykong64123 · 2023-05-23T15:37:42+00:00

You posted this a few days ago. I've responded to your situation and so did other people. Look, if you think you have no choice but to leave, it will come at the cost of your kids. No matter how many videos calls/phone calls you get, or if you visit a few times a year, they will not see you the same.

No_Virus_2119 · 2023-05-24T04:00:19+00:00

Thanks for the responses guys, you tell me all the things i was scared that will happen, I dont know what to do really.

I think about the kids but i try to think also about my situation and find something good for everybody.

If i somehow stay doing 2 jobs then i could see my kids but live in a depressed situation with no friends, family etc for support(im alone here).

If i leave I will have a house, job, friends, family and a lot of opportunities to go see my kids (2 hour flight).

I dont know really.. maybe i will leave and cant handle missing them and come back to try again.

1994LRM · 2023-05-23T20:51:33+00:00

Brother stay strong, you can make it, for your kids we will move mountains at least try to make it there. They need you

Over-Transition5863 · 2023-05-24T18:55:01+00:00

You will lose any relationship you had with them for the most part. At best you will have an uncle kind of relationship with them.

I just me someone and we are really hitting it off. I know this will be what happens when I eventually move to marry her. I'm sure I'll get downvoted to hell and back, but for reasons I won't get into here, I don't feel a deep connection to them, and that will never really be established properly. It makes it only a little easier, but in the end, they will be the better for it. Be there when, where, and how you can.

Title	Moving countries
Author	No_Virus_2119
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	May 23, 2023 4:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13pdquz/moving_countries/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/moving-countries.1220083 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220083

Comments