35yo, been married for 11 and 1/2 years, 3 young children all under 6. Will post my first OYS in the main forum later in the evening.

Been reading MRP material for a few months now, not quite a full year. NMMNG, sidebar and ordered WISNIFG. NMMNG had a lot of things I recognized myself into, some other stuff not so much, but it put the words on a lot I felt was wrong with me.

Long story short, my wife is skinny and has no curve and I'm not attracted to her. I was a religious zealot when we got married and didn't get to see her body beforehand. I was very BP also. As soon as she uncovered I knew it wasn't what I was looking for. But I sucked it up because in our ethnicity and culture divorce is a big taboo. Nice guy behavior to the finest.

I work out, am decently attractive and get reasonnable attention from women. I can't spin plates as it's against my religion (I'm not really religious anymore now but not to the point of commiting adultry, even if it crosses my mind sometimes NGL). Thing is if I wanted I could.

I talked with her numerous time on the subject, in 2017 before we had kids she commited to fitness and got nice gains and I was satisfied. I'm not asking for much. But she let go and lost confidence in herself. She loved me and didn't want to let me go at any cost so she kept crying whenever I said I wanted to end it before us. I was a BP nice guy so I stayed instead of doing what I wanted which was leave.

Fastworward now, we have 3 kids, she is as curveless and skinny as ever and I can't commit to even initiating with her. In 11 years of marriage she didn't turn me down once for sex and enjoys it when it happens. BJ on demand.

But man I can't do it anymore, I find her body repulsive. I work out and she doesn't. She's a SAHM and is stressed out by the kids which I do my best to help her with. Get them out, feed them, bath them, make them sleep, pull my weight as much as I can. But obviously she does more of the housework, it's her job. She's a good housewife and mother. She's got a moderate attitude but generally is respectful, exception of some shit tests here and there. Nothing out of the norm, AWALT.

She also sometimes says that I should "accept her as she is" and other stuff. But man it's absolutely destroying me. As soon as I see her flat butt I'm disgusted and lose motivation to live almost. I feel caged. In a prison. I did start a side business and I dont even have motivation to continue it because what for ? To have more money to live a shit life without attraction ?

I'm as horny as ever, hard erection every morning when I wake up, got checked and my testosterone levels are in the mid-upper range so everything is functionning here. This situation is making me super depressed and I'm losing motivation to even work out sometimes because what for. But for now I power trough it.

I know I'm the one to make the decision but I'd like some advice from MRP, because as I see it the actions I can take are the follow :

1- Leave. My family (parents, uncles...) will strongly oppose it but IDGAF at this point contrarly to 5 years ago. What crushes me is the kids will have to leave without a father figure for majority of the time in this country that is slowly but surely becoming a woke LGBTQIXYZ+ shithole (am in europe). Everyone is free to do as they see fit with their life but if you're teaching my daughter that she can be a boy in primary school I'm not on board. I really want my kids to have a traditionnal family structure and a strong male role model. Maybe it's the nice guy talking ?

2- Stay and give her an ultimatum ? I read here that utimatums are bad ideas because often fomer BP guys don't follow trough them. I'm not asking her to be a fitness model, I'd be content with not much, just have her squat and hip thrust twice a week will solve the problem. But somehow she can't commit to it. Either it's because of the kids (they're homeschooled for now but will go to school next year) but I told her let's hire a nanny so she can have time to lift but she doesn't wanna because the youngest is 8 months old and breastfed and she can't separate herself from her. Or she cries and tells me that she doesn't believe that she can do it. That is what happens now, because in the past she tried to shame me like I'm some pervert and I should absolutely "accept her as she is" or else I'm the biggest asshole ever. And that other men are not picky like that and she knows it from her friends. Once I've discovered MRP I put a boundary saying I won't accept that type of talk and she never said it again. So now she just plays victim. But in the meantime I'm the one who lives sexless.

3- Stay and do nothing and beat my meat until I die ? Not an option for me.

I know it sounds like victime puke, well it's beacuse it is, but I'd really like to have advices on the direction to take. Generally from what I've read here this type of problem does not come up a lot, so I couldn't find any posts that realluy answered this problem. Thanks in advance.

TDLR: Got married when I was 24, was a religious zealot at the time, and didn't get to see my wife body proportions and stuff. Screwed up I know but can't change the past. Not attracted to her and she seems more motivated by being a mother than a wife, I'm repulsed by her skinniness and it depresses me. She is not motivated to work out as long as the kids are little, her words.

EDIT: ok I should add that 6 years ago when she was pregnant with our first kid I met a stunning woman at work from the same ethnic background who absolutely wanted to get with me and was telling me she'd even accept being my second wife etc. I didn't do it because I didn't want to be unfaithful especially with my wife pregnant. A part of me is still bitter about it because "what if I did it" etc. But it shouldn't matter it's the past and you can't change the past so I should forget about that thing. I'm not tho. Could I have oneitis from a relationship I didn't pursue ?

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