I'm pretty darn determined to get back out there after -- oof -- eight years of nun mode. That's right: my last date was in 2015. Life just kept happening and no men fell into my path, but that's good, because I didn't know how to define what I wanted, either in a man or in a dynamic. Now I know.

The problem: I live in something of a backwater, a corner of my county that's full of married couples with young children and retired couples whose children are all either too young or, well, married with young children of their own. I'm not interested in the local dive bar because I'd prefer a man with more brains than tattoos (I have none, and the only one I'd consider is a peacock-blue lotus limned in gold on my belly). I'm not in a position to move out at this time due to COL, sadly, or I'd have a flat in the nearby city.

I realize I'm 37, but I don't want children, and my target age range has always been 40-60, even when I was in my early 20s. I'd like to have something in common with him; I'd really like to find someone who would go on orchestra and jazz quartet dates and not be bored to tears, maybe someone who likes the midcentury vibe as much as I do. I'm down with dad bod -- I'm a size 8, which is kind of round for 4'11" -- but I'd prefer he not be obese, you know? And since I consider myself about a 5/6, I'd like a 5/6 to match me. Height has to be the least important thing to me, because hey, shortest girl in any room. As long as I don't feel too physically dominant, we're cool! I'd prefer academic-nerdy over geeky-nerdy, if only because I've seen what geeky-nerdy is like. Insert sweatdrop emoji here.

So how should I come across in a profile, bearing in mind that I'm progressive/woke but my mind isn't so open that my brain fell out and want similar? How do I emphasize that he's getting a loyal femme with a low body count and the desire and ability to be his first mate? And yes, I'm spending 2023 in a total glow-up. My hair is down to my shoulder blades and the color God intended, and I have put away more than enough money to get my eyes lasered (but I look adorable in round gold-rimmed glasses!).

I would value your honesty and compassion. I spent eight years in nun mode so I could learn to give the same to other people. Thank you!