I (44m) have been married to my wife (40f) for almost 17 years. We haven’t had sex in 3 1/2 years, no real intimacy for longer than that. I don’t like who she is as a person anymore. I’m not attracted to her physically or emotionally. I don’t like how she treats our kids. For a long time I just figured I’d stick it out for the kids’ sake, but then my daughter (9) asked me one day, “daddy, why doesn’t mommy love me?” She thought that because mom is always yelling at her. That broke my heart. I’m retiring from the military in the next 6 months and I know I can pretty much count on her receiving half my retirement pay. But I’m okay with that just for my own happiness and for the opportunity to show my kids what a good, loving relationship looks like. It scares me to think about her getting custody though and our kids being raised primarily by her.

Where do I even start? Who do I talk to? We haven’t slept in the same bed in more than a year, so we meet the requirement for separation in our state.