About to start the divorce process, looking for help

Gattsama · 2023-08-10T17:37:54+00:00

Sent you a DM with a general overview. Short version:

50/50 split of all communal assets and debts. That's everything, retirement accounts, a credit card she has for shopping, etc.
child is 17, and by the time this is over, they will likely time out. But otherwise, there is custody (ownership of the child and decision making capacity), residency (where child sleeps, counted in midnights), and child support.
spousal support, aka alimony. Based on each parties imputed income (how much the court says you can earn), length of marriage and state laws.

Check on the rules for your state. The process is neither fair nor just. So don't expect the system to care about your circumstances, the affair, who paid for what, etc. None of that matters.

Open a new bank account. File first. Have your income directly deposited to new account, and proceed from there.

coolfx35 · 2023-08-10T16:01:50+00:00

what is your net worth? If not it won't be too bad. any kids?

To_Shrug · 2023-08-10T17:19:05+00:00

You didn't say how long you were married. That will make a difference. But, I'm guessing it was a little while since you have a 17 year old kid.

So, child support will be easy and short.

Alimony is indeed the kicker. I'm sorry! This sucks, but I guess you can be happy you caught her. Hopefully it was early on in her cheating career.

She will get half of most things, try and keep as much of the pension as you can - thats valuable passive income.

She might be "kind" and not argue with you if you offer her a reduced amount of assets and support based on you catching her cheating on you. A divorce attorney will be helpful in determining the amount of the alimony. If you see any weakness at all, strike quickly and get her an offer to sign fast.

Again, I'm sorry you're going through this!

Iwilltakeastab · 2023-08-10T17:36:03+00:00

20 years and change

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-08-10T17:43:26+00:00

Well you are lucky the law just changed in Florida.

After 17 years of marriage, it used to be automatic permanent alimony. Now things are different. Check with an attorney to guesstimate what you could owe.

Child support is not an issue because your kid is 17 and will probably be 18 by the time this is all settled.

How old is your STBXW? You may need to get a vocational analysis to prove that she could make $xx,xxx if she was in the work force full time.

Don’t move out of the house no matter what. If she gets hostile call the cops immediately.

Start hiding all the cash you can.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-08-10T16:27:05+00:00

Have you researched what Florida law says about alimony? Expect to split all assets 50 50 unless premarital.

Where I live, alimony is not presumed until 10 years of marriage and it's then half the length of the marriage for marriages 10-20 years. No alimony formula so it's whatever the court decides or is negotiated

Title	About to start the divorce process, looking for help
Author	Iwilltakeastab
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	August 10, 2023 3:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15ng10z/about_to_start_the_divorce_process_looking_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/about-to-start-the-divorce-process-looking-for.1227925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227925

Comments