It’s long and I apologize, but it’s a difficult moment.

8 years married. Both 31. Knew we were having problems about a year ago. Therapy. Couples and individual. No kids thankfully, but 3 dogs and 3 homes. I guess I’m an idiot for that. I’ll breakdown the details as we go.

Anyway, thought we’d been doing alright lately. Certainly not perfect, but therapy had been good and we’d traveled together. Haven’t been fighting as much. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before.

Today she essentially tells me she hit that point; BUT doesn’t want to talk about it until Monday. I was painting her in a corner for trying… her words

So now I’m trying to figure out how this will go.

She works a higher paying job - not by much. I got out of the Army (no retirement) after 8 years and do fine.

Current home we bought 6 months ago. While we’ve done some work to it, we’d almost certainly be negative The mortgage is too high to justify for just one of us.

2 other homes are abnbs that run well. Both low rates. One in particular has about 250k in equity being conservative. The other would break even, but is obviously more valuable as a business or for its sub 4% loan.

Pretty F’ed no matter what on this right?

3 dogs. 2 older ones would go with me. How do you all accept losing a dog? Fuck. This is honestly the scariest part.

Separate 401ks. She has nuked hers pretty badly. I doubt she asks for mine, but any insight if she does? We both work. Split bills. Separate finances. It’s not my fault she wanted to take out money for surgery, or that she doesn’t invest as much. Or is it?

We have probably got 50k between us in debt. Business loan mostly, but there’s some CC debt. I’m actually positive she has more, but there’s no way to tell how much. Again - responsible?

We’re in NC if it matters. Will gladly answer any other Qs.

I’m a bit of a nervous wreck here about how this is going to go. Any insight, thoughts, or advice are appreciated.

One last bit. I WANT kids. Anyone with success stories about trying to meet a woman for that after a long marriage?