confused.

BecomingABetterMan1 · 2023-08-13T16:13:33+00:00

So your man told you he's working to build your future together by working overtime and renovating a house, and the only things you care about are how that impacts you?

As a husband who has worked 12 hour shifts while donating plasma and working a side job as a bouncer, just to be able to pay for gas and food - this post is mildly infuriating to read.

To me, this post seems incredibly selfish. Your man is giving up all his time to do this FOR YOU.

Jenneapolis · 2023-08-13T17:26:53+00:00

It’s really hard to tell from this post what is going on. From a positive POV, he is building a future for you both and it’s going to take sacrifices on your part to get there. Are you able to make those sacrifices? Do you trust him?

From a more pessimistic POV, he could be distancing. I only say that because YOU feel he’s telling you what you want to hear and he’s not doing it for you, it’s an excuse. Is this feeling based on reality or anxiety?

I feel like from your previous post this was a newer relationship although not sure we got all those answers last time. I feel some context is missing here regarding how long you’ve been together and how serious this relationship is/has been.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2023-08-13T16:38:08+00:00

How old are you two and how long have you been together?

Some men can tell you a lot of stuff that sounds great, because that’s how they want things to be, and if they can’t live up to the picture they painted, it’s a big blow to their ego. I don’t know if this is your boyfriend or not, but this is why you need to look at his actions along with listening to his words.

If you stopped working because he started giving you an allowance, and now he forgot to send it to you, that seems like a big problem. It may have been too early to rely on him so much. Again, you are seeing how his actions match his words. I have no idea how people navigate this type of allowance situation, but if you are relying on him for money and you don’t feel comfortable bringing up that he didn’t send a payment, it doesn’t seem like a good arrangement for you to be in.

It sounds like he is a very hardworking man and the downside of that is that it leaves less time for him to spend time with you. If you’re not able to keep yourself entertained and happy while he is busy with work, you may not be the best match for each other.

And of course you’re supposed to stay loyal to him while he’s busy with work, idk why you even bring that up as like some sacrifice you’re making for him, that’s like the very basic baseline of being in a relationship with someone.

ToughCollection7460 · 2023-08-13T15:20:05+00:00

How much time has this been taking up? Buying or remodeling a house can definitely be a time consuming process (my husband and I just bought our first house last year,) but at least for us it definitely didn’t take up every evening.

My recommendation would be to take initiative and nail him down on a specific date night that you can plan. Tell him “mark next Saturday night as taken on your calendar, I’m planning us a nice night” and plan something for the two of you. Get some nice steaks and cook a nice meal maybe & set up a movie or game night? Whatever you think you would both enjoy that will allow for quiet time to reconnect.

These busy years can definitely be hard on a relationship, but if he’s being genuine when he talks about your future together, then it truly will all be worth it in the end. My husband worked nights for the first 2 years were were dating, I worked 9-5 so finding time to spend together was not an easy task, but it’s doable and just takes a little extra planning and effort.

AutoModerator · 2023-08-13T15:05:17+00:00

Title: confused.

Full text: hey ladies, so I have a situation here.

my boyfriend has been working on starting a new project, trying to get a new house..and it's been taking all of our time. we went from having lengthy sweet conversations, hanging out..etc to barely anything now. and it's frustrating me because my main love language is quality time, and he knows it. but I can't tell him to drop everything of course. Though I did tell him that I miss him, and he told me he has been working for "our future" together, but i feel like he said that just to shut me up. also he put me on a weekly allowance, since we started dating, which was nice, but ever since he started his new project thing, I never got anything, which also bothers me, because it makes me feel like he's less serious about me and i dont want to be the type of woman that helps the guy build his future at her own expense (time and effort, and im also expected to be loyal while hes building his future) it's like I'm wasting my time, and I don't know what to do, I'd appreciate you ladies to give me some insight, or what the best approach would be.

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Title	confused.
Author	idkyou23
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	August 13, 2023 3:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/15q17vc/confused/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/confused.1228130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228130

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