Been trying to figure out how to voice myself over text. In person i just say what i think always have. Its been a month scene my STBXW called it. Its been really hard... 13yrs of dedication to her and my sons....I admit i wasn't the greatest, but the things ive see and experienced.... theres alot worst out there.

I gave my heart and soul for them everyday. I worked full time, plus took and off grid property and life style for her. Talking full off grid, no power, water, started with sage brush and juniper.... 50 min travel to work, 8 hours sometimes more. then she tells me ive been doing bear min.

Now i find myself alone... having the person i would have never have given up on, give up on me. missing my kids everyday im not with them. where shes with my friend of 6 yrs.... less then a week after separation. Ive gone through alot in my life..... having my family broken.... ugh.

After committing to the life we made.... nothing seems right. ive barely slept..... eating is weird.... talking even. the random thoughts of improving the property we made... We were friends for 16yrs.....

This is by far the worse thing i have ever experienced, its like half of me has been taken away.