Has anyone asked for brutal feedback from a failed date?

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-01-31T00:31:08+00:00

Women give the most garbage advice. It is pointless to ask. That's why places like TRP exist in the first place. It may not be a conscious effort but the woman you're asking about advice is sabotaging you and your future self. Her instincts are protecting herself and her ego and hardwired into her as a fail-safe mechanism.

The real reason second dates don't happen; there was no sexual attraction or the chemistry was bad. It wasn't something specific, but I bet if you escalated properly you would've known you're wasting each others time.

[deleted] · 2018-01-31T01:06:45+00:00

Asking a woman for dating advice is like asking a schizophrenic which voices in their head are real.

I_STOMP_YOU · 2018-01-31T00:59:42+00:00

Not from the girl. They will pick and choose shit to fault you on something. Few people blame themselves. Whether they provide fair criticism or not is a whole thing altogether - with most of the time it being a waste. Some don't want to feel guilty or shitty to tell the outright truth - like they aren't physically attracted - and will make up some other bullshit reason. They may be branch swinging, and they sure as shit won't admit it.

You can definitely get some nuggets of honest feedback but you have to pick and choose what you accept and what you plain ignore. My guess is your psyche wouldn't be able to handle the feedback.

If you want feedback you can get some here and your male friends. You can ask female friends also, but if they are even remotely interested in you then it won't be honest or helpful.

SirKolbath · 2018-01-31T01:25:01+00:00

When I find a woman who actually knows what the fuck she wants I'll consider asking her for advice.

Wait... No I won't. Women never know what they want. And I'm damn sure not asking one for advice on anything, especially on how to pick up women. They'll give advice guaranteed to turn you into a beta orbiter, because that is what they think they want.

nombre1 · 2018-01-31T19:59:40+00:00

I'm going to go against the have and say go ahead and ask, as long as you've actually written her off. For example, If the advice is "you were a little creepy", you know you need to work on confidence/concruency/DHV.

The advice may not be "helpful", and will likely be in female terminology, but that doesn't mean it can't be useful.

Quantum_Jiraiya · 2018-01-31T01:35:11+00:00

This is horrible to do. She will likely say something to “let you down easy” like she is busy or there just wasn’t a connection. If not, she might say “you are boring.” This just isn’t helpful. Next case is she says something like “the sex was bad” (if you got there). The worst case scenario is she shows 20+ people, who you might even know, how she brutally rejected you, how she is out of your league, and how you begged her for a reason. Then she sends one of the above messages.

123876a2 · 2018-01-31T04:01:35+00:00

They will give you advice on how to be an orbiter.

CutLiver · 2018-01-31T02:19:27+00:00

Why? She'll lie anyway.

juliusstreicher · 2018-01-31T03:56:32+00:00

I was wondering whether asking a girl who turned down a second date for the feedback as to why could be helpful. Framing it in a 'seriously be as brutal as you want I'm interested in improving myself' or something and being generally light-hearted about it. Has anyone here done this before and what were results?

The woman will make up shit and give you what she thinks will get her out of this interview in the quickest way possible. What motivation does she have for actually giving you information? You are dead to her, and when you speak, it is the same thing as a piece of dog shit asking her why she doesn't want to step on it.

addwater · 2018-01-31T08:57:34+00:00

idk you just gotta be yourself man! (Y) :)

Yeah, no don't ask for advice. Nothing they say could be even taken remotely seriously.

abdada · 2018-01-31T00:05:23+00:00

I think the only good scene in High Fidelity is when his hotter ex-girlfriend shits on him for this reason.

I hate referencing movies for anything to do with the male perspective but holy crap that one scene is accurate.

robatusf · 2018-01-31T00:44:01+00:00

I have, and have gotten honest/helpful feedback a couple times. The trick is to wait for enough time to pass that it's totally clear to her that you've moved on and won't be asking her out again BEFORE you ask her how you fucked up. I'd say wait at least a month. Otherwise you'll just get BS. Also (and obviously) this only works with girls you don't run into socially...

Title	Has anyone asked for brutal feedback from a failed date?
Author	Snapsperson
Upvotes	7
Comments	24
Date	January 31, 2018 12:04 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7u5l1w/has_anyone_asked_for_brutal_feedback_from_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/has-anyone-asked-for-brutal-feedback-from-a-failed.123034 https://theredarchive.com/post/123034

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