Does it affect you that other men have had sex with your girlfriend, especially casual relationships?

No_Discipline_7867 · 2023-09-11T08:01:57+00:00

Depends on if the number is 2 or 2,000.

ostrieto17 · 2023-09-11T05:47:25+00:00

I actively try to not hold people's past against them, unless it has direct effect on me and our relations.

Spins13 · 2023-09-11T06:20:30+00:00

If the number is not too high, no

notwhelmed · 2023-09-11T08:02:39+00:00

if you find a girl you like, you get on well with her, who cares how many people she has slept with?

Sex is not some mythical wonderous thing... its a biological imperative that also happens to feel really good. Women and men both enjoy sex, and some people go through stages of getting as much of it as possible. If you have a problem with someones "body count" that is your insecurity coming through.

sharksville · 2023-09-11T06:21:42+00:00

I didn’t feel like dating a girl who already was intimate with another man. It felt right to wait and met my wife and we both shared our first time with each other and have been together since, happily married

Angryasfk · 2023-09-11T07:18:15+00:00

Before or after you became an item?

nicknockrr · 2023-09-11T07:58:55+00:00

Logan?

griii2 · 2023-09-11T09:13:01+00:00

Her body count before you does not matter. Focus on your existing relationship, enjoy it, grow it.

I know it will be unpopular opinion on this sub. But don't let others to make decisions about your girlfriend for you.

mCopps · 2023-09-11T06:44:45+00:00

My wife has a couple of exes that she is still friends with. Both she talks to semi frequently and sees occasionally. I don’t feel threatened by them they are both relationships that failed. She’s with me and I’m confident of that.

Throning · 2023-09-11T09:51:14+00:00

This so heavily depends on age group.

I'd understand the insecurity more if I compare my 18-25 year old self to an 18-25 year old date.

But I'm closing in on 40. If I'm going to stick to a generic -5/+3 age range, I literally can't expect a 35-43 year old woman hasn't had sex before, with potentially several serious, multi-year relationships and/or marriages. I'd count myself lucky if her 1-4+ kids didn't turn her into a hotdog-down-a-hallway situation.

Ultimately for me, not worth fussing over, her past is whatever, and it's only "bad" if she's so damn loose that her lips can't grip.

ExtentionBobcat · 2023-09-11T06:23:48+00:00

Reverse your thought. How do you think your partner feels about all the people you had sex with besides them? Don't know if you are troll or weird but this line of thinking is be bad for you if this is genuine.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-09-11T06:46:52+00:00

Not at all. When you hold the attitude that you’re never gonna get married (I’m divorced so one bite at the poisoned apple was all I could stand) then her past doesn’t really matter. If she cheats and walks away, yes it might hurt a bit but there won’t be any long term consequences. Thus her past doesn’t really bother me. Now if I was looking for a wife, yes it’s hugely important, as her past behaviour is a strong indicator for future outcomes.

El-Carretero · 2023-09-11T07:54:13+00:00

As long as the number isn't too high and I still got her while she was still young. I won't take seriously the women that tried to hold out to the very end and now only want to get with you after they are old and single moms.

McFeely_Smackup · 2023-09-11T05:58:51+00:00

I have never in my life felt like I conquered a woman or fooled her into sleeping with me.

What are you, a hunchback or something? This is some Cyrano de Bergerac shit.

SecTeff · 2023-09-11T09:15:44+00:00

No personally I’m all for the swinger lifestyle and sharing

heeroena · 2023-09-11T09:27:02+00:00

She is not yours, it is just your turn

Sad_Bell_6266 · 2023-09-11T08:51:38+00:00

this sounds stupid in 2023. with education about these topics most women are already smart enough to know what they're going for. they know when guys give them false promises of commitment or try to fool them, they just do it with them so they can enjoy casual relationships without telling people they like it.

TimTerrific · 2023-09-11T09:20:28+00:00

No it doesn't, unless they're still actively engaged in it, that would tend to have a negative affect. Unless it was with her hot friend and I was invited, I could see that having a much more positive affect on me.

angeljo6 · 2023-09-11T10:01:11+00:00

Have you tried talking to her about how you feel? I think her reaction to that will tell you more of what you need to know. In the end, go with your gut. Trying to force yourself to think and act a certain way that doesn't come naturally is just repressive. It's one thing if your experiences and insights lead you to develop a new outlook. Quite another to force yourself into a mindset that you have no real evidence for beyond the communal opinions of those around you. If the former, you'll be able to handle whatever happens flexibly. If the latter, you'll just be waiting for the axe to fall. And you aren't going to be able to have a meaningful, fulfilling, honest, open, deeply connected relationship with anyone if that tension is weighing you down.

ElJeffHey · 2023-09-11T10:13:59+00:00

I try not to think about it.

Title	Does it affect you that other men have had sex with your girlfriend, especially casual relationships?
Author	covertaccountant73
Upvotes	8
Comments	35
Date	September 11, 2023 5:24 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16fmv7h/does_it_affect_you_that_other_men_have_had_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/does-it-affect-you-that-other-men-have-had-sex.1230776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230776

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