My husband and I are on different baby timelines.(Details below)

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-09-09T23:10:37+00:00

Why have you kept your mouth shut? You're allowed to have opinions, too. Perhaps you could sit down with him and compromise with trying in mid '24. You're 30. You have no idea how long it will take you to get pregnant. If it's immediately, that means a baby in early '25, right around the time his concerns are resolved. If it takes a while, you'll have a leg up and won't have to try as long. If you'd like more than one child, that's another consideration for your timeline.

My husband and I initially agreed to try at the two year mark. I'm glad we bumped it up to the 18-month mark. I was 31. We ended up having to do IVF. I didn't have a baby until my twins were born when I was 33. There is no truly perfect time. There's always one thing or another to get in order. Starting in your 30s comes with its own incentives not to wait. If you were 25, my answer would probably be different.

cohost3 · 2023-09-10T02:05:10+00:00

Remember that having a baby is very difficult. If you pressure him to do it he may grow to resent you. If there is big financial strain he could blame you for it.

With that being said, it is important to voice your desires. Maybe find a way to meet in the middle.

Low_Mango_265 · 2023-09-10T18:02:38+00:00

Maybe meet in the middle and start trying summer 2024. Regardless, you need to have a discussion.

ToughCollection7460 · 2023-09-09T22:55:34+00:00

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Lucky-Leg6799 · 2023-09-11T02:45:08+00:00

I had twins first go around. Then another unplanned cuz we were so tired raising the twins we slipped and forgot how babies are made! 15 years later I can’t believe we stressed so much about careers and finance and stuff. As long as you have health insurance, and one of you has a full time job, it will all work itself out.

Funny_Garage3895 · 2023-09-09T22:27:04+00:00

My parents always told me there is never a right time for a baby, but money helps

Mum was 19 and 21 when he had kids. Started from basically nothing and now 30 years later owns a house worth 1 million (roughly) We always had a holiday abroad every other year from when I was 4 till 22 They worked hard while bringing up kids

I just had my child at 28. It took till my 4th pregnancy for my baby to be born. I MC at 22 and then didnt try again till I was 26. My partner got our house and jobs sorted so we were at least somewhat comfortable.

We worked hard to be able to bring up kids more comfortably

But end of the day, baby doesnt care about money As long as its loved and your there

Its wether your happy waiting and being an older mum because it doesn't always happen as soon as you try

AutoModerator · 2023-09-09T21:26:03+00:00

Title: My husband and I are on different baby timelines.(Details below)

Full text: I hope this is an ok question to ask here. I’m newer to this page and appreciate any advice!

Just some details. I (30) have been with my husband (31) for 6+ years. We got married in February. Everything is perfect, we’ve got married, bought our first house, saving so much and just enjoying the ‘simple life’.

But, my biological clock is ticking and being a mom has always been my life’s desire.

We are going on our honeymoon in January ‘24 and we’ve agreed that we don’t want me to be pregnant on the honeymoon. (I’m totally behind this!) So since we got married and have started to actively talk about babies, I really got in my head that I’ll get pregnant in ‘24, post honeymoon.

I’ll admit, I got in over my head and got too excited. I’ve looked at nursery furniture, we’ve talked names, I’ve cleaned and donated so much to get organized. I feel like I’m already nesting and I’m just so ready to grow our family. (And I think we’re ready)

So tonight I brought up lightly that I will be ovulating on our honeymoon and that we’ll either need to take precautions or….leave it up to fate. And he basically said that we have to sort out our career concerns first. (Long story short, I own a company that could have an impact on our future finances and life flexibility.)

I know that timeline wise this career concern will be solved in February of ‘25. But, ladies, I cannot imagine waiting until 2025 to start trying. I’ve kept my mouth shut and I understand his concerns (and I agree they’re valid), but I truly don’t know how to patiently wait another year longer then originally planned or help him understand that biologically a year makes a big difference when you’re 30.

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Morphiadz · 2023-09-11T21:52:04+00:00

My intention is not to blame or attack you, but this is why it is very important to address these topics before marriage. If not, you could be subjected to waiting and waiting until it is too late. Perhaps he isn't even really interested in having children and just giving future dates to put it off and buy some time. I have known men who do that about marriage and/or children. It sounds like a possible difference of interests (one wanting a family, the other wanting career success). You've been together long enough to be ready. I would ask him if he truly has interest in having children or if that's something he wants to put off indefinitely because the worst thing would be waiting and waiting and hoping just to find out it really isn't something he plans on doing.

Title	My husband and I are on different baby timelines.(Details below)
Author	ToughCollection7460
Upvotes	18
Comments	19
Date	September 9, 2023 9:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/16ehaq2/my_husband_and_i_are_on_different_baby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-husband-and-i-are-on-different-baby.1231087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231087

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