Witty Response Thread

IVIaskerade · 2018-02-01T16:52:39+00:00

No.

This is how PUA used to be. You had a script, and when the conversation deviated from it you flopped around like a landed fish and - quite appropriately - floundered.

The point of responding to a woman's shit test is not what you say. It's how you say it. That's why you learn about things like "Agree and Amplify" not "say xyz" - because learning the principle behind something enables you to apply it to all situations, while a structured rote memorisation means you can't adapt to changing situations.

You'll have everything planned out, then a woman will say something you didn't expect and you'll break your frame because you don't actually have a frame, you have a pile of planks that you borrowed without bothering to figure out how everyone else got their pile to hold together into a solid structure.

redhawkes · 2018-02-01T20:03:14+00:00

Ill give you just two of them, read everything and don't expect to be spoon fed, it's for your own good.

"Hey, can't sleep!"

This alludes that she's using you for attention/validation aka wasting your time. Anyways.

Don't look yourself in the mirror before bed (implicating that she's uggo/scary to look at) but in teasing way.

or

I won't send you dick pics.

Don't text outside logistics.

"How many women have you slept with?"

Not many, I usually bang and leave.

Today, only 3.

You should count?

quicklogaccount · 2018-02-01T16:43:17+00:00

uuuhhh. I guess any shit test strategy will work there. You need your own, but anyway. I'll answer 3 because this question is just GOLD and you won't actually get it a lot.

(looks to the infinite, counts fingers, moves head as of thinking) "What counts?" (let her answer, start a thread there if you feel like it, or start counting again). Woa, I guess I'm a virgin! / 1, counting you (if you didn't bang her yet, but I never heard it before we banged)

cappadocianhawk · 2018-02-01T18:19:06+00:00

You want to become a man who can come up with witty responses. If you memorize them it's going to show and people will know. There are no cheat codes.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-02-01T17:43:07+00:00

2) "You probably say that to all your girls."

"Yeah I literally wake up in the morning covered in girls it’s that effective.”
If you had a line as good as that, you'd say it to everyone too.
You should hear what the girls say to ME!
And men too. When a line is good, why not?
I do, so don't tell them!
"No you’re the first girl I’ve ever spoken to, I used to be a mute.”
“I bet you think everything’s a line because you’ve got trust issues.”
"Yeah I do. Did you think you were special or something?”
“Nah, you’re too ugly for me to be dropping lines on.”
"What line? Got an active imagination have we?”
"And they love it."
“Yeah, but normally I forget their faces” "So what, you’re saying you won’t forget mine?” “Not if you give me a reason not to” (in a charismatic tone)

3) "How many women have you slept with?"

(Silently counting on fingers, smiling and laughing as I remember the good ones, occasionally counting 2 at once) after counting at least 30 on my fingers I would say "2".
"2, I think. The rest didn't want me to go to sleep..."
"Slept? Or had sex? Because we may do a lot of things, but sleep won't usually be one of them."
"How many girls have YOU slept with?"
"None, I'm a virgin..."
“I’ve lost count.”
“What, today? Not many.”
“Pick a number, any number.”

"I have a boyfriend!”

"Well don't tell him about us! Awkward!"
"That's cool. He can watch."
"I'm not into being watched. He can come back when we're done."
"That's ok, we can tell him I'm gay."
"Great! You must need a break."
"Congratulations!" (keep talking)
"Congratulations! When's the wedding?"
“What boyfriend, your imaginary one?” – Then laugh in her face.
“Sounds like you’re S.O.L., I’m going to have to have sex with your friend instead, feel free to watch.”

“You’re such a player aren’t you?!”

"I'm more like a coach at this point."
"What gave me away?"
"Yep, but my piano and guitar don't know about each other so don't tell."
Yeah. But only on Tuesdays and Saturdays.... so it looks like you're in luck.
"I like to have fun."
"Maybe, come find out”
“You don’t know the half of it!”
"Sounds like you’ve got an eye for talent.”

If a girl asks "Are you gay?" (in a text)

no but my bf is
stop trying to convert me
your flirting needs work
you’re one of those
nice mouth on you
why is your shirt ripped? you poor? (redirect about something in her photo)
text me back when you have something sexy to say
C+. sassy, but not sexy
no but listening to you might turn me
8===D ~~~G A Y
double rainbow all the way
send a Birthday Cat pic

If a girl asks "Are you gay?" (in person)

Please tell me you're not homophobic!
Only one way to find out...
Yeah, but I've always been curious about girls.
Yes, I'm a lesbian...maybe you can help me?
YES! And let me tell you honey, that top does NOT work with those pants! (said with a flick of the wrist)
You've got some sick fantasies! (said with a cheeky grin)
No, I'm FABULOUS!
Am I that pretty?

"I bet you're cheating on me."

"If you really thought I was cheating, you would've left already." (then walk away)

Who's that girl? (she saw online)

"She's one of my practice girls. How did you find out?"
"You are so cute when you're jealous."
"Don't interrogate me about every girl who likes one of my pics. I promise to let you know before I have sex with somebody else."
(yawn, bored): "She's a friend of a friend. Why?"

"What's the matter, you look sad?

I lost my teddy bear earlier and now I don't know who to sleep with.
Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life than being ridiculously good looking.
Sometimes it's tough being this attractive...
Come sit on my lap and I'll tell you all about it.
I was thinking of how sad I'll be to see you go in the morning.
Yeah, my life sucks. I just keep winning all the time.
I was thinking of the starving children in Africa while I ate lunch.
I'm practicing for a melancholy-themed photo shoot tomorrow.
"Yeah.......go get me a beer so I'll feel better."
"You can cheer me up later."
“Yeah I’m going to go home and watch Titanic now.”

Liu_Wang · 2018-02-01T16:30:39+00:00

huh?

Title	Witty Response Thread
Author	Vafster
Upvotes	0
Comments	13
Date	February 1, 2018 3:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7ujhkq/witty_response_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/witty-response-thread.123125 https://theredarchive.com/post/123125

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