Male rape victims, can you share your story of what happened?

Careless_Orange1948 · 2023-10-02T06:18:24+00:00

I was 17, and just graduated high school. I was at a graduation party and a friend of a friend kept following me around, giving me beers. I think they were Modelos. It was the first time in my life I had drank alcohol, and remains the last time I'll ever drink. She might have slipped something into some of them, I don't know. I don't remember most of that night, I blacked out at some point. I have a couple of flashes from what happened afterwards, stuff I really don't want to get into detail of, but my memory doesn't get clear until I woke up alone, in an empty house, naked, handcuffed to the headboard. For the next hour I fought to get the handcuffs off, and eventually ended up breaking the wooden slats of the headboard to get free.

I had to go to the police station to get the handcuffs removed from my wrist, which was covered in blood. When the police asked me what happened, I told them, and they told me it sounded like I had a good night, then reminded me that making false accusations are against the law. Almost every single friend I had who I told what happened either didn't believe me, treated me with pity, or treated me with outright disgust. I had a therapist tell me I should try and reframe what happened as a positive experience, that I should be grateful she chose to rape me - it's a compliment because of how attracted she was to me. I couldn't tell anyone what happened for years after this. I was so scared all the time I wouldn't be believed.

She kept trying to stay in contact with me, and I was scared and confused and for almost a year I let her. I tried telling her that she raped me, that I hated it, that I'm filled with disgust, and she tried convincing me I was gay. She gave me a pregnancy scare - I think to this day she was lying, I know she doesn't have kids. Immediately after it happened, she told me to stay quiet, to not say anything because she'd go to the cops and say that I raped her. I think the fact that I had gone to the police before her, even if they didn't do anything, was my saving grace.

I lost my drive to go to college, turned down the university I'd been accepted to, and worked in food service for two years. I ended up joining the military just to get away from her. Now, I can't see mental health or a doctor, or talk to anybody about it, since anybody worth talking to is a mandated reporter, so I'd have to face the police department who never believed me in the first place again.

To this day, ten years later, I can't open up to people about it. Less than five people that I have spoken to at all in the last year know about what happened. I panic when women touch my left arm, I lock up in bed, and I'm terrified of going to therapy. What if another therapist says something like the last one? Logically, I know that wouldn't happen, but I still can't bring myself to do it. Until recently, I've had nobody to talk to. I took a risk 6 months ago and told a friend, she was the first person in a decade who gave me unconditional support. I have someone to talk to now, and I think I'm getting better. At least I'm not getting worse anymore. I don't know.

McFeely_Smackup · 2023-10-02T21:59:16+00:00

When I was in college I rented a house with some friends, and we had a big house party one weekend. I drank way to much and was being aggressively pursued by a girl I was in no way attracted to. I was fading fast and every time I started to drift off, she'd be all over me..slobbering on my mouth and pawing at my crotch.

After pushing her off the third or fourth time, I went in my bedroom, locked the door and passed right out.

I woke up to find she'd jimmied the crappy lock, was naked, and was sucking my penis to get it hard enough to jump on.

I'd been trying to put her off politely all night, but now I was just mad. I started yelling at her to "get the fuck out" and called her a "fat pig", and threw her clothes out into the hall. When she went after them, I locked and blocked the door with my body...eventually passing out and sleeping all night on the floor to keep her out.

In the morning I found out everyone in the house was mad at ME. they'd all seen her pawing at my drunk ass all night and thought it was hilarious, and said that what I did (throwing her naked into the hall) and said to her was horrible and uncalled for.

Nobody gave two shits for the fact that she'd sexually assaulted me, or that she was actively attempting to rape and would have succeeded if I hadn't woken up. No... calling a girl fat was way, way worse.

It's not too difficult to imagine the different reaction if a man jimmied a drunk woman's locked door to get access to rape her, then undressed and began performing oral sex on her to get get her moist enough for penetration...Nobody would have faulted the women for literally waking up and killing the man...But reversed the sexes and the guy is in the wrong for being angry at his rapist.

These weren't strangers, these were my friends. When I hear people say "But how often do women really rape?" I always answer the same way "as often as they feel like, because nobody cares when they do"

ColdCamel7 · 2023-10-02T10:50:25+00:00

I was made to do sexual things by a woman when I was six

She put my hand inside her vagina, made me get naked and put my penis in her mouth, and made me lie on top of her, maybe trying to get me to penetrate her, I don't know

I've known a bunch of guys who have had experiences like these, generally with teen girl babysitters

Hardly any of them consider themselves to have been abused, though, and probably none would think they were raped

I mean, was I raped? Not according to the law here, which defines rape as forcibly penetrating another person's body

I heard they wanted to get the law changed to "being forced to have sex", but guess who stood in the way of that change?

Saerain · 2023-10-02T09:38:05+00:00

She was about three times my weight, I was 14—not sure about her age, but also a teenager.

Hadn't met her before, but she just pushed me down and forced me into oral for about half an hour. Paralyzing. Kept thanking me and saying how lucky I was. Followed me out into the woods when I tried to escape, thanked me for the romantic location and went for a second round.

My parents noticed something, I don't know what. Enough to say "she wanted to be joined at the hip with you huh?" once she had left. Couldn't bring myself to talk for a couple days. Don't think they noticed that.

I went back into those woods and jumped into the gorge later that year. Still have flashes of that fall during any suicidal moments, 23 years later. I don't know how much she really drove this—many other bad things happened that year—but it was certainly one highlight.

abarua01 · 2023-10-02T12:01:14+00:00

I'm not a victim but my friend was. He was allegedly assaulted by his male high school principal when he was a high school student (minor). Apparently he was stripped naked, spanked, made to give fellatio and sodomized. My friend is a straight male but his rapist was also a male. My brother and cousin also went to the same high school and I asked them if their opinion on the principal and they both said he was a good person. Me and some other mutual friends tried to persuade our victim friend to come forward and tell the police but he chose not to. The principal is still employed at the school

AirSailer · 2023-10-02T23:09:52+00:00

Two times for me:

I was 17. A female friend a year older than me went off to college, came back over Xmas break. I had a crush on her for years, but she was never interested in me that way. She came over to my parents house one night and brought some vodka, and we watched a movie and she got me drunk, and I found out later she didn't actually have anything to drink, she purposefully got me drunk. I blacked out at some point, woke up to her pulling my pants off in my bed and getting me hard, then started having sex with me. I was so drunk I just laid there. Couldn't keep it up, she kept going down there because it wouldn't stay up. I was in and out of consciousness during this entire time. Eventually she finished, of course I didn't. Woke up with the worst hangover, called her and she was pissed at me because apparently I told her I didn't want to have sex, then in the middle I pushed her off because I said I didn't have a condom, but she admitted she got back on after that to finish. Then she told me I was very disappointing. That was when I lost my virginity.
In college, was partying at a friend's house, I briefly dated his sister. Everybody went to sleep except me and her, she wanted to have sex in the living room floor but I didn't. She forcibly pulled down my pants, then told me she would wake up her brother and tell him that I tried to rape her. I just laid there, pants not even down past my knees, while she rode me. It was terrible, I left after that and walked home drunk in the middle of the winter.

hendrixski · 2023-10-02T05:10:02+00:00

There are men out there with stories way worse than mine. Mine is technically rape because consent was gained by deception.

>! I had just divorced. A former co-worker took interest me then, we had fooled around a few times. I had good days and bad days. Some days I couldn't get out of bed - she came over around lunch time on one such day. !<

>! I thought she was going to spend time with me and maybe we would go for a walk. Instead it was very procedural. She came over, we had sex, and then as I started sharing my emotions about the divorce proceedings, difficulty focusing on my job, and my custody battle ... She just got up and left. I thought it was my fault that she left so hastily because maybe I had been "selfish" talking about myself or had said something inappropriate. I stayed in bed the rest of the day and called in sick the next day. It's not a figure of speech - I was so depressed I actually was incapable of leaving my bed. !<

>! Months later when I was in a better place - I had secured 50/50 custody and that relieved so much stress to know my son would not be taken away from me. Her and I had slept together a few more times. I brought up the incident. She revealed that it wasn't anything I had said... simply she had pulled off a "hat trick" that day. She had a one night stand the night before and also had sex in the morning, came to fuck me for lunch, then went to get boyfriend-at-the-time for sex that night. A hat trick. I have never felt so used in my life. !< I NEVER would have given consent had I known - so I felt deceived and I felt dirty. Since I was so unstable at the time there is no interpretation of the situating except simply that she took advantage of a mentally incapacitated person. In other words: rape.

We haven't spoken since.

ElisaSKy · 2023-10-02T05:07:34+00:00

Well, since you've asked, I've got two such stories. Yes, this means it happened to me twice.

The first time was by a classmate 2 years older than me in middle school (15 Y/O classmate vs 13 Y/O me). At first she was sweet, nice and so on, and someone starved for any positive attention/affection such as me (being hit with a metal crutch in the balls the year before was my... Earliest memory, since for once people didn't blame me for it and wanted me to recover and wanted the people around me caught... That should tell you how starved for affection I was that I look fondly on a brutal assault because the aftermath was one of the few times I've experienced anything like affection...) was easy pickings for that.

Then she lured me to a semi-secluded place, jumped me, and when I defended myself, she told me to "stop struggling, or [she]'ll scream for help and say [I] jumped her". Unsurprisingly, I stopped struggling. She was later on convicted of... "Invasion of privacy" for "illegally recording me" i.e. it was okay for her to force herself on me without my permission and against my protests, but recording the act was where the line was crossed.

The second time was... My "egg donor" (I will not call that woman a "mother"). She was very abusive, and she once gave the instruction for her boyfriend at the time to beat the shit out of me. I called the cops, she bullshitted them, I spent 48 hours in the psych ward, 8 of them tied to a bed spread eagle after I tried to make a run for it. So, there she had made it pretty clear she was both willing and able to get me into serious trouble if I objected... Let's just say the next time a police officer tries to drag me away, he'll have to bring two bodybags, because he won't take me alive, and I will try my hardest to take him down with me. Anyways...

When my "egg donor" "asked" me to touch her down there, surprisingly, considering what happened last time I objected to her "requests", well, I didn't object. I wasn't in any hurry to actually test out my "they won't take me alive" oath in real situation when she would actually make the call if I said "no"...

Funnily enough, in both cases, the threat of a false accusation was the gun pointed at my head, and in both case... I complied rather than risk getting shot.

soontobesolo · 2023-10-02T14:11:18+00:00

Way back in college, I passed out drunk in my bed. Woke up to a gal I knew blowing me, then riding me. I was too out of it to do anything about it. By today's standards that's definitely SA. By the standards of the day, we never thought much of it. Life went on, I don't think I suffered any trauma or anything, and I didn't cancel her, complain to friends, or anything like that.

She eventually married a buddy of mine.

ChewieBaka76 · 2023-10-03T01:25:27+00:00

When I was 20 years old I was raped by a woman in her mid-20s during what started out as consensual sex. I won't go into the specific details but long story short: she was on top, the condom broke, I wanted to stop and get another, she didn't and got angry when I tried to push her off. She slapped my face, then grabbed my throat and told me to let it happen. She was high at the time and very dangerous, so I froze and let her finish.

But you wanted to know about perspectives.
The best way I can describe the experience would be like seeing it happen from the outside, but being caught in time, sorta like an "out of body" experience.
That was over 20 years ago. I had nightmares about it for a time, but eventually they went away. I also had flashbacks caused by certain sounds and smells associated with the experience during sex, and would get this sense of claustrophobia when a woman tried to be on top. Thankfully, years and other partners who have been patient with me have helped me overcome any of these. I'm a Survivor and I'm continuing to thrive.

coming2grips · 2023-10-02T07:25:58+00:00

Sure, this has happened multiple times to me. I don't share often about this. I am happy to discuss offline as I don't need to have it coming up in my comment history everytime I look at it though :-)

44connor · 2023-10-02T22:53:22+00:00

Went to a party, this girl way eyeing me up. I pass out drunk upstairs later in the night, wake up to me inside her. Pushed her off, she scurried downstairs and that was that. It was on a couch and I was laying on my side, but it was definitely strange.

Strigon_7 · 2023-10-02T07:06:00+00:00

I'm not sure I qualify as I was underage when it happened. 16 y/o halloween party was approached and seduced by a woman who was 22 y/o who flat out did not believe me when I told her my age after. I dont know if thats the same as any of the events here, I dont feel as though it negatively impacted me at all and I dont want to take anything away from anyone elses experiences. That just my event.

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-10-02T11:16:31+00:00

about a dozen more: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wahaup/askreddit_men_of_reddit_who_have_been_raped_by_a/

Scholarly_peasant · 2023-10-02T14:10:51+00:00

Several years ago, I attended a party at known party house near school campus. I ended up spending most of my time hanging out with these 2 girls I met. We had a great time... just conversation and drinks.

Next thing I remember is waking up tied facedown on a random bed while those 2 senoritas took turns eating my ass.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-10-02T16:27:34+00:00

I must have been about 8 when my dad’s bosses daughter used me for .. experimentation whenever we went there for dinner. I guess she was about 16 or so. We played with her dolls and she played Doctor with me to varying degrees. To be honest other than what the feminists would call “power imbalance” and “can’t consent” I never really had a problem with it .

I’m pretty sure she used me for “practise” so to speak . Wasn’t really a big deal for me - I like touching but it was never a big / sacred deal for me nor are people and I won’t blow it into something beyond what it was in fact 300 years ago no one would have given a monkey but in the wider context of sharing experience that was mine.

Far-Entrance9729 · 2023-10-02T10:25:49+00:00

I'm trans women so it may not not be applicable but I will tell my story if you are intrested

(just for background. at time of this story was early twenties they did not know I was trans. had secondary sexual characteristics and had had, had surgery)

A friend of someone In my family had been invited around to my nans place where most of the family was staying over the Christmas period. For some reason He was left alone in the house with only me I didn't even know this as I was in my room on my computer minding my own business being anti social. Anyway I went out to find a snack and run into him in the hallway. He made small talk and was normal at first but then he started to get a bit touchy put his arms around me was saying he was worried or upset about something and I take it that was his justification for embracing me and being be touchy. I was being polite at this time just trying responding with empathy to what he was saying but trying to distance myself and breakout of the conversation and weird social interaction. I kinda dashed into my nans bedroom as it was right to me saying I had to do something thinking that he wouldnt follow because it would be innoappriate. But He did and he closed door ( and held it shut at times with his hands and foot so i couldent open) and carried on he became even more grabby, tried to kiss me, stuck his hand up my top grabbed my boobs. I kept saying no im not intrested and he shouldent do this. But he completely ignored me and kept repeating your beautiful your pretty girl phrases like that again and again. I wish i had been more assertive but I was afraid I am only 5 ft 4 and very skinny about 100 pounds I am not strong He was so much bigger than me and I was not used to this situation. At some point he pulled his dick out and was forcibly shoving my head down he kept saying saying "suck it" at one point he pinned me against wall grabbed my throat stuck his hand down my pants a grabbed down there. He forced himself on me pulled clothes off it all happend so fast I was just silently crying throughout im embarrassed by the whole thing I wish i wasnt so weak .

I never went to the police. I told my family though they had argument with him at the time. Though later some started talking to him again and downplayed it "his a man thats what they do" "you made yourself girl so you should expect it" felt ignored i thinks its because he was a lawyer and would offer them legal help for free or help them buy cars. I found out later he has done this to many other women and has wife who his violent towards .

I felt disgusted with myself for a long time afterwards I was repulsed by anything sexual and just wanted to be alone. It was this event that made me intrested in feminism I quickly found out though that radical feminists hate trans people many actully find trans people being raped funny and openly support it. While the more liberal feminists can be better there still common attitude among them that trrans women cannot be raped or be sexually assaulted. It made me feel like there is no one with empathy or care whether mens groups or womens groups people only care for people exactly like themselves and the world is cruel . Feminists the people who I thought would be supportive were in fact some of the nastiest most vicious people going.

I feel like at that time was very naive and inexperienced I wasn't used to situation like it or know how to react well.

I had another experience later where I had went out for new years got separated from friends and had drunk far to much a man literally picked me up carried me put me in his car and drove me to his house when is was not conscience thankfully I was sick everywhere and I think that put him off me! lol

External-Hyena4351 · 2023-10-02T16:25:22+00:00

My ex girlfriend wanted to stop using condoms, I was not comfortable with this because I never wanted kids and did not want to risk it. So she said she would start the pill. I brought up the question, what would we do if the pill fails? She said abortion without hesitation.

Fair enough, I took her to Planned Parenthood, bought the pills, and expected her to take them as directed. I even asked the doctor a bunch of questions and felt like I was taking it more seriously than she was.

I wanted to wait at least a couple of months to take off the condom to make sure the pills were actually taking effect as expected. I wanted confirmation from the doctor at the next appointment that it was safe to take off the condom. She was not happy with this at all and caused heated arguments between us.

So one night we go to a party. She’s bringing me drink after drink that I didn’t ask for, but I figure why not. It’s a party and I don’t have to drive. She wasn’t drinking at all. So drunk me and sober her later that night somehow end up having sex without a condom. I hardly remember it because I was falling over drunk (and unable to give consent) but what I do remember is her locking her legs around me so I couldn’t pull out.

I got suspicious when she did a complete 180 on the abortion stance that she agreed to. So I searched her nightstand and found she did not take a single pill. Remember I went to every appointment and bought every pill, so I knew how many there were supposed to be. I had to stand there and smile while people congratulated my rapist for the pregnancy. Who the fuck would believe me that I was raped?

Even to this day, the most common response I get when telling my story is something along the lines of “you chose to have unprotected sex with her so that baby is your responsibility”, or “why didn’t you get a vasectomy if you didn’t want kids?”, or “if you got hard you must have wanted it”. They would never say these disgusting things to a female victim. Can you imagine the backlash and outrage that would get?

Nevermind that if a man did what she did, it would be stealthing (lying about steps taken for birth control), date rape (purposely getting someone drunk to the point where they can’t consent), and forced insemination when she held me down. Yet somehow I’m the asshole because it was a woman doing these heinous things and I’m the man.

Meanwhile, she gets a free ride off of my child support payments and if I want to see the kid then I need to see my rapist on a regular basis and act like nothing happened. Feels bad man.

Title	Male rape victims, can you share your story of what happened?
Author	Sarah_1999__
Upvotes	35
Comments	36
Date	October 2, 2023 2:41 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16xkz5s/male_rape_victims_can_you_share_your_story_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/male-rape-victims-can-you-share-your-story-of-what.1233731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233731

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