Hey all, I’m just having a horrible day. Hoping writing it down here helps.

I worked for 5 years and built a company from 3m-15m a year, averaged 55 hours a week every year to make it happen. In this I was constantly stressed, treated my wife like shit, was a bad dad.

She filed out of no where just over a year ago. I stopped working so hard so I could take lawyer meetings and be there half the time for our child. Anyway moved down to about 40 hours a week. Then 2 months later, I got fired. Under performing, made a few mistakes, etc.

In a way I feel like I lost my marriage for working so hard, then lost my job because I lost my marriage.

Anyway just feeling really depressed today, I know it’s not all my fault, but on days like today it feels like everything is. Like I should have been better.

I have a new job now, making about 40k less a year then my previous job. Financially I’m barely making it, and that is scary and hard for me. I have 50/50 parenting time but I have to travel a lot for work (10 days a month) so I keep having to fuck my schedule up to accommodate work. Then when I’m home I’m constantly a dad. I feel like there is no time for myself, I can’t take a vacation and have something to look forward to because I don’t make enough money.

Feeling trapped and depressed. I have a pretty good life it’s just so hard to be happy sometimes.

Thanks for reading