Does your captain continue to initiate contact/plans as your relationship progresses?

SunshineSundress · 2023-11-22T17:59:13+00:00

I’d say once you guys are an “item”, there’s no need to play games or hold back, especially if he is still putting in effort and investment of his own. If you don’t incrementally reciprocate your investments to match his, most healthy, well-adjusted men will feel like you are uninterested and are likely to start phasing you out.

nxte · 2023-11-22T18:31:26+00:00

I’ll just go ahead and say it. I absolutely love and am amazed when the woman takes an initiative on something, because it can be so rare. I think any HVM should not feel emasculated, but rather would be very appreciative . As your boyfriend said, it creates a sense that you desire and need him, and I second this sentiment. I don’t want to speak for everyone, but I have encountered far more passive partners than active. And the active ones stick out in a good way! Another thing OP, your boyfriend sounds like a good guy and is truly into you. Men would not promote or instigate a woman to take a more active role if they did not want to be around them, right? You could ask him these questions just to get his ideas of what is ideal for him. Regardless, congratulations - it sounds like you two are building a good relationship!

rosesonthefloor · 2023-11-23T18:53:56+00:00

For sure you can support and initiate while not “leading” the relationship. One way that works well for me is to really lean into the “Goddess of Fun and Light” advice from Laura Doyle, and share your enthusiasm for things with him. As your relationship is still fairly new, this can also be a great way to get to know him better.

As an example you could tell him about an upcoming event you’re interested, and say that it looks so fun!! That you love XYZ. Would he want to come with you? You could ABC.

Or share a fun/cute story about your day and ask what he thinks about DEF related thing to it. Or ask him for “help” for something that doesn’t really need it, but tell him it was just an excuse to see him lol.

Obviously tailor it to your situation, but making suggestions or asking him these kinds of questions isn’t leading because it puts the ball in his court, and also gives him an opportunity to make you happy, which men love.

In the vein of the incremental reciprocity post as well, you can always frame your suggestion as a gesture of thanks/appreciation - i.e., I really enjoyed our dinner date yesterday - I’d love to cook dinner for you next time!

Dont be afraid to get playful or a bit silly with it. Play a game of keep-away with something small and tell him you’ll give it back if you can make plans the following weekend. And keep it light - if he’s busy? Well maaaybe you can settle for a kiss instead lol.

Lastly, he hasn’t said it, but I can tell that my boyfriend loves when I text him to have a great day at work. It’s a small gesture, but lets him know I’m thinking about him! And if your man has expressed that he wants to feel needed, upping your words of affirmation game might go a long way to scratching that itch for him.

Unusual-Jellyfish-54 · 2023-11-25T14:05:01+00:00

he has expressed his desire for me to initiate more often so that he feels needed.

This sounds awesome! he is being vulnerable showing he really cares for you! Feel free to show some vulnerability too and iniciate some time. It seems like you're definitely going somewhere so drop the games and start being yourself, building a genuine, long lasting love.

AutoModerator · 2023-11-22T17:48:26+00:00

Title: Does your captain continue to initiate contact/plans as your relationship progresses?

Author InternationalAd6242

Full text: My boyfriend of 5 months has been great with initiating contact and making plans to see me. I know letting him lead the relationship is important. Recently, he has expressed his desire for me to initiate more often so that he feels needed. As your relationship with your boyfriend progresses, at what point is it okay to initiate? How often?

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InternationalAd6242 · 2023-11-22T19:27:05+00:00

I totally agree with you - and to be honest I have initiated more with his encouragement. I guess generally, I wonder how initiating first is compatible with the RPW idea of letting the man lead the relationship, like conversations about furthering our commitment to each other.

Odd-Temperature-4554 · 2023-11-26T12:21:06+00:00

wtf is a captian?

Title	Does your captain continue to initiate contact/plans as your relationship progresses?
Author	InternationalAd6242
Upvotes	19
Comments	22
Date	November 22, 2023 5:48 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/181f3f7/does_your_captain_continue_to_initiate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/does-your-captain-continue-to-initiate.1239111 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239111

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