How can women perform emotional labour for men when they don't open up emotionally?

Neo-Shiki · 2023-11-30T08:11:59+00:00

Well

It's a little tricky

Emotional labour in couple mostly refer to the management of emotions and the effort put in maintaining a healthy relationship.

The thing is that what could be considered emotional labour is not see the way for men and women ( listening, providing support, understanding and validation , problem-solving communication, etc )

By exemple, many women love when their man listen to them ranting about anything ( listening)

In the opposite, many men prefer when their women give them good advice about some issues they are facing. ( Problem-solving communication)

Most men i' don't open in the for one or many reasons

1: They don't want to burden more the person listening

2: They don't think what they are facing is important enough to talk about it

3:They want to try to find a solution in their own before talking about.

4: They don't know how to express themselves

5: They fear to be misunderstood

6: They don't want to have anything of what they could say use against them.

7: They have the feeling talking will not change anything except maybe worsen the situation.

Here just some examples in top of my head.

For resolving that kind of situation, communication and understanding is the key.

But it's difficult when one side is demonized for stupid reasons

jessi387 · 2023-11-30T06:11:04+00:00

Men are actually the ones doing the “labour”. Yea women do the “emoting”. But men are the ones doing the work as in actually listening and providing feedback.

gabriel-kornilov · 2023-11-30T06:37:38+00:00

Since when honey do list and nagging can be considered "emotional labour"?

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2023-11-30T06:18:57+00:00

The real emotional labor is done by people who continue to do what needs to be done despite their current emotional state. It’s men who do better and do more heavy lifting in this regard. A smart feminist should drop this argument like it’s hot.

Angryasfk · 2023-11-30T07:18:54+00:00

Feminists: men don’t open up enough. That’s why their mental health is so bad, and it’s all caused by “toxic masculinity” and therefore “patriarchy”. And we hate when men DO open up because it puts intolerable emotional labour on women (and nearly 90% of psychologists are women now). They need to suck it up, check their privilege and keep it to themselves. These new male snowflakes with their fragile masculinity.

And don’t complain these statements are incompatible. That’s imposing male concepts onto women which is a form of patriarchy!

Seriously the prime rules of feminism are that nothing should ever be expected from women, and that all men’s problems (if they even acknowledge they exist) are totally men’s own doing and women should do nothing.

Parking_Wrongdoer_55 · 2023-11-30T05:57:22+00:00

When a man opens up emotionally, it will be used against him in a court of law by the women he told it to. Usually to take his money, take his children, or to falsely accuse him of a crime. So its counterproductive for the man. Emotional support for a man takes the form of not bickering about every blasted thing in the damn house and just being pleasant and normal, it really isn’t that hard.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-11-30T08:29:12+00:00

Most feminists are bigots. End of explanation.

reverbiscrap · 2023-11-30T18:25:11+00:00

There is an MRA, Dr. T. Hasan Johnson, who is writing the first ever paper on male emotional labor in relationships. I will buy it day one.

ExtentionBobcat · 2023-11-30T09:18:18+00:00

You misunderstood the term. In context it means "a woman pretending to give a shit about anyone and anything other than what she wants in that nanosecond." Also look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Greg_W_Allan · 2023-11-30T08:15:56+00:00

How can I reconcile both

By understanding feminists project like multiplexes.

imbetterthanyou30 · 2023-12-02T05:57:44+00:00

I don't think male suicide can be boiled down to something as simple as "they don't open up." In fact, many men don't open up because they tried doing that before. Maybe they did open up before and a woman abused that knowledge by gossiping (that's actually how women typically manifest aggression).

It could also be that men are experiencing financial problems and can't get a loan. It could be a lot of things. But I don't think it's because men fail to convey emotion. I suspect the real crux is that they deduce that the world just doesn't care about them.

Not that I support self deletion, but they aren't wrong insofar as thinking our society doesn't care about men.

Diesel-66 · 2023-11-30T17:21:12+00:00

They also include mental work life remembering that you need peanut butter or the chicken is on the last safe day so it needs to be cooked. Or x persons birthday is coming up so get a card.

EfficientSimplicity · 2023-11-30T21:25:58+00:00

I’m my experience, emotional labor means being a bitch

mrkpxx · 2023-12-01T13:25:15+00:00

The fact that women present themselves as victims and men are gaslighted is an unhealthy state of today's society.

karn39393939 · 2023-12-02T03:43:34+00:00

Emotional labor is a recently fabricated thing that is being used to demand more from the opposite side. I've heard a few men say they do more in the emotional labor than their spouse. I've heard it more from women though. Especially the feminists. It is nothing more than a power grab. For the moderators this is just my opinion.

mcc9999 · 2023-12-02T22:20:35+00:00

"Emotional labor" as a concept is total BS. It's an attempt to blame men for how women are feeling and extort $ from men on that basis. For most women, xfer of $ from men to women is a primary concern so they'll lit. make up any BS to facilitate this.

Title	How can women perform emotional labour for men when they don't open up emotionally?
Author	Shiva_uchiha
Upvotes	52
Comments	17
Date	November 30, 2023 5:52 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/187bafy/how_can_women_perform_emotional_labour_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-can-women-perform-emotional-labour-for-men.1239694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239694

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