I’m writing this post because I’m frustrated with all the Reddit posts where people who are years through a divorce who say that they’re still often miserable but that it gets easier to handle. I 100% recognize that everyone has their own experience and that there’s no right way or normal way to heal from divorce. But as someone who was suicidally depressed for the first 3-4 months, fighting constant denial, and emotionally texting my ex only to have my heart broken again and again, I’m now 7 months in and I’m happy and joyful again! The pain of divorce has been the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I felt thrown away by my best friend and we have 3 young children together. I felt like my life was over. At 44 I had never been alone before, but all my friends have moved away, I barely have any family left, and I hated doing things by myself. In the meantime I’ve grieved hard for my marriage, I’ve been in therapy, after enough time passed that I was able to be functional again I started getting into some healthy routines. I started consciously thinking about what I had that I was grateful for. I regularly reached out to friends via text. I read a ton of Reddit divorce stories. In having to coparent with my stbx I gave up the version I had of them on a pedestal and really took in the person they are now and it made me angry and disgusted by them. I consciously worked on healing my self esteem from what they said about me and that my marriage failed. I know I’m a good person despite what they think. My stbx is the one with no self awareness of any of her many issues I wasn’t able to fully allow myself to see until after our divorce filing. I’m grateful for the time I have for myself. I’m taking care of myself, getting a weekly massage, meeting friends for coffee, enjoying streaming good series. Anyway, my point is I feel really good and happy and joyful again after 7 months and I’m not depressed about my divorce. I’m actually now grateful that my stbx divorced me because in dealing with her now I can see sooo many issues she has, and while I’ve been working on myself and growing, she’s not because she has the self awareness of a potato. I love the time I have with my kids and it’s so much healthier and more focused on them because I don’t see them every day. I love being able to decide what I do without having to worry about what anyone else wants. There’s so much to appreciate and be joyful about.

TL;DR: Married 6 years. I was suicidal for several months after my stbx told me she was divorcing me. We have 3 little kids between us. I thought I’d never feel better. Now at 7 months in I feel happy and joyful not sad about my divorce at all anymore. I want to give hope to others who only see the Reddit posts saying the pain lasts forever and only becomes more tolerable.