I don't feel welcomed by women. I feel like an outsider and I keep getting ghosted and hurt by them. Not even talking in a romantic manner, just friends.

I can't believe I'm saying this and me 2 or 3 years ago would've never even thought of posting something like this, probably would even strongly criticise it. But I can't keep being delusional anymore.

I understand that it's inter-generational trauma or something close to it that probably causes most women to keep their walls up while dealing with men, I fight and put time and effort countering this, but even after they get to know me very closely, even with my reputation and even when they have strong evidence of me not being a creep or whatever they think I might be, I just keep getting hurt and ghosted by friends who are women out of nowhere and for no reason.

It's personal experience I know but when I tried to communicate my emotions and how hurtful it is with one of these friends, she started blowing it WAY out of proportion and tried to make it as if I was threatening to unalive myself or something and when I tried to explain to her that this is not the case she tried to make it as if I'm being a creepy stalker (we were literally texting on WhatsApp and that's it).

So now, and because of that traumatic experience, whenever that happens I can't be confrontational cause I'm scared that it might happen again.

It's always the same energy of just someday going from being friends and besties or whatever to "why are you even talking to me can't you tell that I'm ignoring you?" type energy.

And the thing is, I've never had such experiences with men. Men are not angels don't get me wrong and I used to hate separating based on gender, but I've never got ghosted out of nowhere like that by men.

TLDR: No matter how hard I tried I couldn't be friends with women and it's the opposite experience when it comes to male friends and now I just find myself unintentionally trying to avoid contact with any women (I DON'T LIKE IT THAT WAY CAUSE I LOVE WOMEN AND I MYSELF HAVE STRONG FEMININE ENERGY)