LTR continuing after dread level 11?

fnordsnord · 2018-02-28T20:45:48+00:00

Little brother, listen to me. Harken to the voice of the silverback of your pack.

I'm about to lay an ugly fact on you, and you need to drink it in. Make it a part of your worldview.

Read my lips and smell my breath:

Her libido and sexual flexibility go DOWN after you get married. Often not right away, but she's going to be LESS interested, not MORE once she's got you locked down.

If you shackle yourself to this woman long term, your weekly "meh" sex is going to be MONTLY "meh" sex within two years.

This woman is not attracted to you, and has little interested in pleasing you. Oh, she may be "fond of you as all hell" and even think "you're going to make a great dad."

But your sex life is not going to improve with time.

Unless this is EXACTLY the sex life you want FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE, you need to end this relationship and move on.

vandaalen · 2018-02-28T19:14:11+00:00

I'd ask myself how happy you really are and how much investment that girl is worth, if you have to go up so high on the dread ladder to fuck once a week.

Also you got the wrong mindset, where you are looking to manipulate her into having sex and "getting" it from her. Default state should be that she is eager and happy to please you whenever you need to. A girl who's attracted to you will happily be your sex toy.

Other option is that you frank out tell her that you like your living arrangement, but that meh-sex once a week isn't enough, so you are going to get strange pussy and she can take it or leave.

ooze7 · 2018-02-28T18:59:50+00:00

How old are you? (srs).

I would go ahead and have fun. Would also end LTR. A woman in LTR that is interested does not fuck once a week. Stop wasting time and have fun.

Ricklogical · 2018-02-28T19:12:55+00:00

No, if you sit down and talk with LTR and she doesn't make changes, you should be going out with other women.

What I would do is 'take a break' or 'just be friends' because it is obvious the fire is down. It might not be out.

This could of course be your fault, so you should spend some time learning how to make it hot between the two of you.

I tried very hard with my ex wife but she was cheating so there was no way to make it work.

If you start cheating, you are basically ending the relationship like a coward. If you start moving away from her openly, maybe she will alter her behavior and if she doesn't.........you made the right move either way.

Or tell her you want to bang other chicks and it's nothing against her.

TonytheNetworker · 2018-02-28T19:46:46+00:00

Personally, this is damn near a deal breaker. Just like some guys mentioned already your girl should be excited and eager to want to fuck, not be indifferent to it. Talk to her about it and see if the behavior changes. If not, you know what to do next.

BurnieSlander · 2018-03-01T08:18:58+00:00

Wake up friend! She isn’t happy.

At best, she’s complacent and lazy. At worst, she’s playing you like a beta fiddle and getting alpha dick from the maestro.

Stop being naive about how great everything is. In fact, your naïveté is probably one of the reasons she’s not attracted to you.

You talk about dread level 11 when you haven’t even completed level 1.

Time to start making changes.

0kool74 · 2018-03-01T23:34:28+00:00

Everybody else has been kind of kid gloves with you in the comments. Sorry...i'm gonna take off the gloves and have actual unpadded knuckles contact to the jaw because some folks are just hardheaded and the only way you can get through to them is with swift, strategic, hard blows!

happy with everything in my life except sex life

Sorry bro, but there is not EXCEPT with happiness. It's either ALL there or it's not. EXCEPT does not EQUAL total!

I’m hesitant to stay committed to a life of just-ok sex even though I’m happy with everything else about her.

AS WELL you should be hesitant. If she isn't providing positive feel good in ALL aspect of your life, then you're a dumbass if you keep her around and take it to the level of marriage or long-term committed LTR.

I’m on the fence about getting to dread level 11

You should NEVER EVER EVER be on the fence about wanting what is right or best for you. If you're on the fence, that means you're tee-tottering on the brink of settling. Do you think you're a valuable enough man that you shouldn't settle? If not, then you need to get there......QUICKLY!

Or does my wanting to do this mean the mediocre sex from my relationship is a dealbreaker and I should end the LTR?

So ask yourself this........how much of your life are you willing to throw away by settling? Because that's exactly what you're doing. 5 years? 10 years?? 20??? If it's mediocre now, you're a straight up stupid fucking dumbass if you think it's going to get any better without some action on your part.

You could either tell her that she gets her shit together or you're walking, or you could SETTLE for the 90% of everything else being perfect, get your nookie on the side and hope she never finds out. Why compromise YOU just so you can have not everything of what you want?

walawalawa · 2018-03-02T11:41:21+00:00

This is why I spin plates. When i started to get more invested in "one"...crap like this happens, drama ensues, i feel disrespected, i over-react and it's a mess.

I just had this thought reading your post. I rarely have any "fights" with any of my plates. It's about banging....that's it.

There's not arguing over the remote control.

Title	LTR continuing after dread level 11?
Author	throeawaye123
Upvotes	5
Comments	10
Date	February 28, 2018 6:50 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/80yhs2/ltr_continuing_after_dread_level_11/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-continuing-after-dread-level-11.124834 https://theredarchive.com/post/124834

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