So especially during the last few months of my marriage, when I wasn't working and couldn't get my marbles together at school, my wife would make it very clear just how unpleased she was with having to carry the load for both of us, something I did for years and years while she pursued her degree. It got to a point where my stomach would cramp up when I would hear her car pull up because I knew that as soon as she walked in and saw me sitting on the couch, she would already have that look of disgust or something all over her face and we were always maybe 3 words away from an argument.

I started walking on eggshells. I became a complete doormat. I didn't love her anymore and she sure as hell didn't respect me, much less love me anymore. So we divorced right before the pandemic. I sublet the marital apartment and moved back in with my folks during the pandemic. Needless to say I put on a ton of weight, didn't really socialize or do much of anything.

Anyways since then, I've started a job that really fulfills me and I enjoy going to every day. I've started a diet that has led to me losing ~53lbs so far, placing me at about the side I was when I met my ex-wife. I plan to continue this keto diet as long as I can however, as being slimmer in my 30s then I was in my 20s has been a great feeling.

Long story longer, I still have this nice guy personality. And I know and recognize because I was always the opposite. Going through high school and early 20s being a bit overweight,, I had to develop my personality, my confidence, my ability to speak to women or anyone for that matter and I was confident in my body and with myself. I commanded respect.

Now find myself always "excusing* myself if I feel I made some kind of loud noise. I make myself smaller physically in situations. I still love to socialize and especially now with the weight loss, I enjoy meeting people again and I've had some success in dating but I know that I'm not being assertive. I don't know what it is that's causing me to act this way. Is it just a matter of entering my 30"s? I had my testosterone checked at around 27 and actually went on TRT back then and have been on it since but not regularly until this last year. I've noticed many of the physical effects and yes my libido is back but I don't feel anger/aggressive or I guess once could say masculine or hyper masculine ?

TL;DR: How do I shake a nice guy" habits post divorce and weight loss?