How can I show my interest if I am naturally reserved and don’t know how to express how I feel.

Competitive-Bill-612 · 2022-07-06T06:27:51+00:00

Why do you hate effort? In your field of work/study/anything important you do you put in the effort. Why should romance and dating be any different? Fuck that stigma of try hard.

This is where your looks probably work against you as you had it way too easy in your college years. Just practice on going outta your comfort zone start by talking to strangers/asking for direction guys or girls, then you go to just brief compliments and walking off. Then when you feel comfortable build a topic from there.

Its also always nice to keep a few tried and true questions: what do you like getting up to for fun, what would be her top travel destinations, etc.

Once your comfortable talking to strangers add a twist by doing cold reads: which will make your conversations stand out more. One your nerves are cool use that time to observe her appearence and how shes acting. Anything interesting or weird just point it out. (The weirder your statement is the better)

Uttzpretzels · 2022-07-06T09:47:36+00:00

Hmm. We sound similar although I’m a woman. Therapy has helped with the unnatural feeling of expressing animation.

Anyway. You should look into the psychology of performance anxiety. Often when a person has anxiety about performing a task before it’s even begun they’ll fail or have subpar results in performing the task. This goes beyond sexual performance.

In shorter terms faking until you make it can actually work and it’s all about your mindset.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-07-06T10:21:51+00:00

I was in a similar situation, good looks and no game.

You have a few options, but you probably already know what to do.

If striking up a conversation feels unnatural, then you need to develop social skills. You need practice and to push your comfort zones. Learn to free associate and improvise conversation. Learn to get out of this reserved place you are in and to free flow. Learn to make conversations man to woman, etc…

Or you can use online dating, or just hope something will come along and change by itself. It’s better to work on yourself.

serialkiller_mne · 2022-07-06T12:10:13+00:00

I wouldn't worry. I also mean not to brag, but I'm a handsome and tall mofo, so I have to try way less harder than other dudes that don't have that. I'm not perfect tho and surely an uglier guy can have better game than me. Looks are genetics and the way you take care of yourself. Our behavior can nullify our looks completely

I had a similar issue like you as younger. So the girls were like ohh fuck him he is so distant, arrogant... nothing further from the truth, I was a bit of a jackass as a teen but I was never arrogant, just am a generally unemotional person.

Cobine that with not trusting people to give them that pleasure that I show obvious interest I was cold as ice. See, not arrogant, just possibly not into being nice and touchy-feely romantic bullshit

What I do now is simple. They stare at you? Stare back, or be the first to look and smile at them. Throw a joke, say "I'm not an fbi agent stalking you, no worries". Just be fucking playful and cocky but in a fun way, not like a complete douche

Don't be afraid of cuddly shit even tho if you gotta fake it. Have a bit longer hair? Tell her hey bet mine is fluffier than yours, let's compare? Have cold hands, tell her to warm you up etc. Idk, just act like nothing can break your confidence, not even rejection.

Also learn to be insightful and ask some serious questions sometimes so you stand out

Aaaand if you just wanna cold approach a girl you think may be checking you out, don't overthink, just go there and your brain will have to come up with something unless you are completely autistic

Like I once saw a girl at the mall checking me out so I approached and said something "ohh I saw you looking, so just tell me if I have ketchup on my shirt from that pizza I just had, or what is it" so she laughed blah blah blah.. no you don't then I start asking which one of us threw a look first for real, is it me or is it the new jeans I bought here that caught her eye, then got a bit direct after I asked her some serious questions like "you go to the college here, where's that accent from for real blah blah blah"

Not to write you a novel, I just asked her point blank "Hey if we had such a great convo randomly at the mall, we would have even better over a drink... let's do it this weekend" aaaand she agreed, gave me her ig, ended up smashing at one point but she had to return to her hometown so nothing else happened

Story is kinda cringe but retarded shit like this can work with a little twist of cockyness.

goldenzzzzrock · 2022-07-06T16:23:26+00:00

it’s kinda hard in the beginning but you’re going to have to just start putting it effort, regardless of how unnatural it may feel. it’ll start to feel natural after a while, like forming any new habit. try messaging ppl on hinge with something in relation to their bio/prompts that sparks a convo that you know they’ll be interested and engaged in. if they mention books, ask them about the last book they read etc etc you just have to make it a habit to be engaged and it’ll get easier.

Title	How can I show my interest if I am naturally reserved and don’t know how to express how I feel.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	7
Date	July 6, 2022 6:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vsj5ul/how_can_i_show_my_interest_if_i_am_naturally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-show-my-interest-if-i-am-naturally.1255196 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255196

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