Asking questions is okay, engaging is better

Most guys like to start off with a question which is okay.

Personally, I rarely use questions to open an interaction. I prefer to start with what I call statements. "Statements" might not be the right word but bear with me.

When you ask someone a question you give up control of the interaction to the other person because the conversation can not continue without the other person's response. So right off the bat, you're giving control of the conversation to the other person from the get-go.

Let's imagine a pretty common scenario: you like this girl and you ask her a question and she happens to be chewing on some food, or most often her phone rings just before she can answer your question. So now you have to stand there like an idiot while she swallow her food or finishes her call. Every second you spend standing there works against you because you've not only lost control of the interaction but now she has more time to analyze things and and you standing there like an idiot just makes the whole thing even more awkward which doesn't help your case.

On the other hand had you used statements instead none of that would happen because when you use a statement you're not expecting anything from her and you're not waiting approval or anything. You're simply talking.

More importantly when I use a statement I am bringing her into my world, not the other way around. And I am not trying to get into her world (yet) so to speak by firing a bunch of questions at her or by making statements that are only about her such as her purse for example.

A statement allows you to share your world with her. Questions imo are only appropriate after you make a few statements. Plus if you hold off your questions will feel more genuine. You won't look like a robot repeating the same questions as everyone else.

So what are statements and how do you deliver them ?

Here is a sample interaction:

So my favorite pair of shoes is the black/white checkered Vans classic. I’ve own a pair since i was 16 y.o (not the same one) and I wear them with shorts, kakis, jeans and even with a dress shirt and blazer. You can apply this to any object or thing or memory...this is just an example to illustrate my point.

Let’s say i am at a cafe and an attractive women is sitting at the next table. I can casually look, look down or point at my Vans and say “These are the most comfortable shoes ever created since shoes were created” and then follow up with ”if I had a dollar every time I said this to someone, I’d be a millionaire lol” then you can string another statement “By they way, the store is 3 doors down on the left, tell them Rafa sent you, they’ll take good care of you” You can string these statements all day long and make them as ridiculous or funny as you want. You need to string these until the girl is becomes receptive and interested. She’ll either give a smile, a nod, a laugh, she’ll move in closer or something like that. Again you could follow up with “you know i’ve broke so many hearts in these shoes” smile then “ but don’t worry, you’re completely safe” smile then add “for now!”

And While you deliver these statements, she’s thinking wow look at this guy, he’s bold but in a good way, he’s comfortable in his shoes (obviously), he’s social, he’s witty, he’s flirty, he’s fun, he’s funny and he’s outspoken… All of this without her thinking you’re coming onto her.

As you can see you can come up with and deliver these statements all day long and you can take them in so many different directions.

Now that the other person is warmed to you, you can follow with your routine of questions if you want to.

Cheers