So today I went on a museum date with a girl I'd been chatting with on Hinge, and it went really well! However, I'm not entirely sure if I want to pursue anything further with her romantically. And besides, we've been chatting for a while and I knew that she was interested in me, so when I got back I sent her an audio message saying that I had a lot of fun and she's really cool, but I've never actually been in a relationship before and I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted or how I wanted to approach the next steps with her.

Now, if I'm being entirely honest, even though she was really cool and I had fun, I wasn't very physically attracted to her and don't think I'm interested in entering a relationship for that reason. So I thought my admission of my relationship-less-ness would be a halfway decent attempt to offer an explanation for why I was turning her down. That, and I do think it's something that I'm either going to have to eventually tell someone and/or they're inevitably going to find out. They're gonna wonder why I never bring up any exes, or I might do something that shows that clearly this dude has never been in a relationship before. So I figured after our first date was as good a time as any.

My explanation was that for essentially all of high school I weighed upwards of 320 pounds and essentually had no confidence or self-esteem because of this. No girl would ever be interested in me, so why even try? And even though I've since gotten that down to about 235, I'm still a big—albeit less big—dude and I still carry those same insecurities, but I'm trying to break out of them. Hence why I met up for a date today. And this is all true, and I think is pretty understandable.

And she responded and said that she had a really fun time too and enjoyed my company. She doesn't want to rush into anything and think it's worth taking things more slowly as friends and not to expect anything, but see where they go. And she wants to meet up again and still do karaoke—something we'd discussed. However, even though it wasn't necessarily a red flag, it was a little jarring to hear that I'd never been in a relationship; she didn't expect that of me and said I came across as really confident, so it came as a surprise to learn—which I guess I can take as a compliment. However I can definitely understand her surprise; I think it is a bit of a strange thing to realize about somebody at my age. But hey, that's the fact of the matter and I can't change it.

So what do you reckon is the right time to spill the beans to a girl I'm into? If things went this well and I was more physically attracted to her, I probably wouldn't have said anything yet as not to jeopardize anything. I figure once I find a girl who likes me, she won't mind as much once I tell her my relationship history. Once she already likes me and, hopefully, sees I'm a cool dude, it won't come across as the red flag it otherwise might've. Or maybe I should rip the band-aid off early. What about sex? Do you suppose a girl would care or maybe even enjoy having sex with a virgin in the way that us guys likely would? Or is it a turnoff to know that I'm a virgin? Also, I figure there's an inversely proportional relationship between how much they care/how attractive I am. If I reach the Greek God status I hope to achieve, I doubt the less girls will care my relationship history.

Anyway, what's y'all's take on the matter?