I've been cold approaching casually my entire adult life, mostly night game, with random levels of success. This year I decided to get good at cold approaching for real after realizing how hard it is to meet people when you are out of college in your adult life. I already know a lot of the theory (trust me I've read and watched much more stuff about seduction, pickup, and social skills than I'd like to admit) but I wanted to get actually good at it by practicing consistently. So I decided to do 50 approaches in a month. I know that 50 is not a huge number, but I learned a few nice things that I'd like to share because of this immersion plus all the random approaches I've made in my life. Out of 50 approaches I got 5 numbers, one instant date, two dates, and one lay. 18 of those approaches were simply "warm-ups" Where I would just stop a girl, compliment her, and walk away.

Keep in mind these are just my experiences and opinions, by all means, I can't say that I hold the truth here. So here are the things I wish I knew years ago:

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1- Approach anxiety is the main reason for my lack of success approaching.

We all know that confidence is the main factor for being attractive, and sorry but if you are super nervous and anxious when approaching a girl, she will feel that, and you won't look confident at all. How to fix that? Approach more. Approach just to lose the anxiety and not to get numbers. Once you've done a lot of approaches your anxiety will dwindle, it won't go away but will diminish enough so you can hide it better. So do approaches with the goal of getting rid of the anxiety first, the rest will follow.

2- I need to set aside time for day game sessions, and not just "casually" approach on your daily life.

You won't be able to approach casually at a coffee shop or a supermarket if you haven't put the time and effort to lose your approach anxiety. And you will only lose your AA if you did enough sobber approaches so your brain won't think it is a dangerous thing to do anymore. Think of cold approaching like going to a sports practice, you set sessions to practice it, and eventually, you can score some points at a game.

3- 98% of girls like, or don't mind being approached.

In 50 tries, I only got one "bad" reaction where the girl just looked at me weird and walked away. Most girls will thank you, smile, and walk away. Some will stop to talk, some will be surprised or some will just ignore you. if you are polite and socially calibrated, you have nothing to fear.

4- Social calibration is important and easy to do.

Addressing the situation is important to make the girl feel comfortable. It is just about showing the girl that you are not a creep and you are aware that you are interrupting her day, or that you know that it is not something very common to do. Saying stuff like "Excuse me, I know this is random", "Don't worry I am not trying to sell you anything", "I just have a minute, I have to go soon", "I know this is a weird place to do this but", "by the way my name is...". Some could argue that doing this makes you look needy, but I disagree, doing this makes a lot of girls stop and pay attention, which otherwise would just have walked away no matter how confident you look. Confident guys are supposed to be social, and being aware of the social norms to interact with other humans just shows that imo.

5- Doing night game is much easier if you are able to do day game.

Day game is brutal. You will get a lot of rejections, after doing enough day game, night game will feel like easy mode. People are much friendlier at bars and clubs in comparison. You can also be more creative with your approaches at night since people are just having fun. Just saying "hi, who are you guys?,is often enough at night.

6- During the day direct approaches are better unless you can find something in common.

Indirect approaches are not very effective during the day and won't make your AA go away as much. Stuff like asking for directions and opinions usually go nowhere in my experience. But if you see a girl with a t-shirt of a band you like, or a tattoo of something you dig, go for it. Make it clear that you are approaching her because you wanted to meet her, and the thing in common is what caught your attention. Having stuff in common is a nice way to build comfort and smooth the interaction. If not, just get in, compliment her, and introduce yourself.

7- Rejection builds confidence and lessens approach anxiety.

Being rejected over and over, and still being able to keep approaching 5 minutes later just teaches your brain that this s not a dangerous thing to do (a.ka. anxiety). The more rejections you get and showing your brain that you will keep approaching anyway will make your anxiety go away. And one of the most common definitions of being confident is "not caring about what other people think" which is something you can only learn with action and experience, and getting rejected over and over and still keep doing it anyway is the ultimate way of learning how to not care. And when you realize how many girls are out there willing to at least exchange a few words with you, you will start developing an abundant mentality instead of a scarce one boosting your confidence even more.

8- Approach anxiety will go away in small steps.

If you are not able to do a direct approach just start saying good afternoon to random people, if that is too hard just ask for directions, do what gives you a little bit of discomfort, and do it enough times until it gets easy, then proceed to next harder step. One thing I really like doing is just stopping a girl, complimenting her, and instantly saying goodbye. If you remove the goal of "closing" it is much easier to approach. Eventually, you should start trying to close every interaction, but in the beginning you don't have to. After a few times you do this, the AA will be much lower.

9- Write a conversation script for yourself.

It is the job of the guy to carry the conversation in the approach, but when you are nervous it is very easy to get tongue-tied or run out of things to say. It is fair game to have a list of topics that will work in any situation to go to when you approach, what works for me is each topic should be built like this: Observation, question, assumption, comment, repeat. Stuff like: "you look very young (observation), "are you in college?" (question), "You strike me as a psychology major" (assumption), (Wait for her answer) "I thought that because my best friend is a psychologist and he told me that blah blah" (comment). By all means, don't get a bunch of pua lines of the internet together and call it a script. Write your script in a way that makes sense to you and is congruent with your personality. I got 7 topics down, it feels like a lot of times after about 4 topics she will start contributing to the convo if she is interested in you. With all that being said, what you actually talk about does not matter so much (your success is not based on perfect lines to say), but it is important to lead the conversation and keep the ball rolling. And actually write it down on a piece of paper, and re-read it until you have it memorized, so it will come naturally on the interaction". And remember, these topics are emergency buttons for when you run out f things to say, and not a set of tracks for you to follow all the time.

10- It is brutal, but it is fun.

If you don't like talking to people, being social, small talk. and all that, cold approaching is not for you. It is supposed to be a fun challenge before it is a way to meet girls. Online dating is effective, but trust me it won't be as much fun and won't build your self-esteem as cold approaching does. It is really fun and empowering to know that you are able to go to any random cute girl and try talking to her. Getting rejected and ignored is awful, but it is really worth it if you want to be more confident and finally get an abundant mentality.

I could go on with 10 more things I learned, but I'll leave that after I've done 50 more. Hope I helped someone with this stuff. It is a bunch of things I wish I knew a long time ago.

Cheers!