If women are the primary focus of your life, you are inadvertently putting yourself in a feminine frame of energy. On the surface, it sounds contradictory—you love women, men are driven biologically to reproduce, so focusing on pursuing women should only enhance your masculine frame. False.

When you are spending the majority of your free time pursuing women—thinking of what your need to do to impress them, what they’re thinking, how to modify your behavior—you are putting yourself in a deferential, feminine state. Other vital areas that help maintain a confident masculine energy will often get neglected:

  • Male friendships. This is vital. This is why you see men who were once dominant become more passive when they get married, if they don’t maintain their male friendships. Women who are in a feminine state will support your need to spend time maintaining friendships with other men.

  • Physical competition with other men. This is an overlooked component of confidence. It can be as simple as a pickup basketball game at the local court a few times a week, sparring/drilling in a martial art, or recreational sports team. Consistent physician competition with other men stresses the mind and body (in a good way), and helps fine tune social skills.

  • Pursuit of hobbies and goals. Women want to be an important part of your life, but not the primary part. They are biologically and socially driven to seek out men who are able to provide safety. If you neglect your pursuit of your goals and improving your station in life in favor of focusing on women, you are inadvertently making yourself less attractive in their eyes. They want a man who goes after what he wants, and can’t be dissuaded, even by them. Working towards your goals shouldn’t be driven by a desire to impress women, but attracting women is a byproduct of achieving the things you want.