Late bloomer here, struggled with severe self-esteem issues (couldn't look at myself in the mirror, made a list of things I physically hate about myself and would constantly read through it) throughout University so didn't attempt to date/talk to women.

Went on a few dates with a really nice girl that I thought would be "the one", but she ended it and when I asked, she said that she never found me attractive. This was a bummer because she was the first person that I had ever dated, and I was sad for about a solid month afterwards.

I went on a self-improvement spree after the first girl, and started to gym regularly, dress well, groom myself properly etc. However, I feel like the attention I get from women is "fake", because I'm sure a part of it boils down to how I present myself as opposed to my physical traits (jawline, height etc).

I started to date after that, and they went well. In the last month I've dated 5-6 women, who are conventionally attractive, and about half have led to sex within 2 dates. And one girl is even asking me to have sex on the third date but I will say no because she's a virgin.

So I don't think I'll ever find someone who is attracted to me, in the sense that they won't ever think "wow he's hot". Because of huge self-esteem issues, I had to develop my personality and now I'm quite funny/charming.

But because it's all based on fakeness (being charming, groomed, in good shape), as opposed to initial attraction, I feel like a fraud for getting attention and girls wanting to sleep with me. To the point where I told a girl on Friday (see this post https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sqlt9z/killed_the_mood_yesterday_but_kinda_pleased_about/ ) that she should go on Hinge and find someone who's hot and tall, because she can do better than me. I saw another guy who was taller than me when I was walking her back to mine and it made me very insecure about if she feels like he is hot and that she can do better than me. She was all dressed up and I thought "wow she's very attractive".

Even tonight, I'm meant to be meeting up with a different girl but I don't want to because I'm scared that she'll see someone else while I'm out for dinner with her and then feel like I am unattractive and that she's not interested in me.

I am searching for reddit posts which involve women saying they don't feel attracted to their bf, and I think that this would definitely be the case for me. I don't think that I'm unattractive because I've been told that I'm good looking by a lot of different people, but I understand that I won't ever give them the "spark" which they need.

Should I just give up and go gym etc? I enjoy doing that stuff and it would help to keep women out of my mind because it leads to a lot of anxiety and stress.