I was a late bloomer. I had casual sex throughout University but hadn't ever been on a proper date. Got oneitis HARD from the first woman that I dated. And she ended things:

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s1puh4/why_i_give_up/

After that, I went into a spiral of self-hate. I went to a friends party and got drunk, and signed up to lots of things in the process (salsa dancing, running etc). However, I still had extreme anxiety when I started dancing. See here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Salsa/comments/s2irf2/started_salsa_dancing_i_love_it_but_hate_partner/

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Now? I've slept with 3 cute girls in the past 3 weeks, and I have a few more coming up.

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But, I don't ever feel lonely anymore even though I spend most nights (80%) by myself.

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It's all down to radical lifestyle changes:

1) Gym - This is a part of your life. Not a hobby, not an interest, but a genuine part of your weekly routine. I'll explain why: If you gym 4 times per week, you have 4 evenings where you: a) Got out of the house and into a social environment, and b) felt productive. Suddenly, after coming back from the gym, it's already 6-7PM and you still have to eat etc. Don't be lazy with nutrition. So boom, productive evening. I don't even gym for too long - I'd say average of 30-40 minutes, with the occasional 1 hour session. It’s important to make this consistent, so I enjoy the odd meal out, and I buy prepared deli slices of chicken and sliced cheese. The easier your routine is, the easier it is to follow.

2) Fashion - This is HUGE. Go to the shop and buy nice black/blue jeans which FIT. They're your staple. You can wear the same jeans every time you go out for a year and no one will care. So make sure they're comfortable. T-Shirts: Something that FITS. Can't go wrong with white/black. Never a V-Neck. Graphics can be cool too. Jackets: Something nice. Ask a female friend to come shopping with you and let her do the work. You don't know what looks good or not because you are trapped in your comfort zone of clothing, so you won't ever branch out from bland clothes, without someone else telling you that you look good in something.

3) Grooming - This is a MUST. And I think it's sad to see how far behind men are compared to women. Women spend an hour on their appearance every day. So you can spare 5 minutes to trim your beard/shave every other day. Haircut: Find something good, but get your hair cut regularly. It's about image, and a man who takes care of himself is an attractive thing.

4) Distractions - My achilles heel was computer games. I used to come back from work and play games, and view gym as an "aside" to this life. What did I do? In December, I completely packed away my gaming PC. It may never see the light of day again. I don't care.

5) MENTAL HEALTH - Many issues surrounding "game" revolve around not giving too much attention to the other person. And so we come up with ideas on how long we should take to text back, being mysterious etc. A big part of this stems from dependence. For me, fixing long-standing depression was very difficult. I still get days where I feel suicidal. And so I will suggest another metric for judging improvement: Judge your mental health in terms of weeks. I.e., when compared to 4 weeks ago, I currently have fewer episodes of suicidality. Noticing improvements here will spur you into realising that you are getting better and the odd bad day won't lead you to spiral.

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My biggest take away from all of this, however, is quite simple:

"Comfort is the enemy of progress".

3 months ago, I wasn't content with my situation (needing to be dependent on the oneitis girl for affection, always playing computer games, not really taking care of myself). But, I was comfortable. But in the three months since, I took up challenging new hobbies (running - which I quit because I didn't enjoy it, salsa dancing - I love it now, and gymming regularly). Running and salsa dancing were very difficult because 1) I sucked, and 2) I was very much out of my comfort zone.

But I kept dancing, even though I was very close to quitting, and suddenly I enjoy it. I really look forward to my next class.

All of this has taught me that feeling uncomfortable isn't a bad thing. And the best part? Feeling uncomfortable feels the same, whatever you are doing. Whether it's dancing, speaking to girls, expressing your intent etc. But, you will learn, from experience, that the feeling of being uncomfortable will pass. And now that you've already gotten over the feeling once, you won't be discouraged by that feeling in future. And suddenly you're living a fulfilling life: one that will attract others, as opposed to needing to chase them.

I'm not saying that girls love guys with hobbies ipso facto, but having hobbies will make you more settled and comfortable in yourself, which is a very attractive trait. Whether or not a girl is interested in me, I will have a good week regardless.

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Feel free to go through my post history - and see what I was going through 3 months ago and how I changed it. I am a completely different person now, and I don't really worry about "game" in-depth. People who like you, like you. Those who don't, don't. The biggest part of game is polarising: Finding out who likes you and who doesn't.

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The past three months have been extremely challenging, but I'm at the other side now and I can tell you that it's definitely worth it.