Acting like other guys. I don’t want to but I can’t help but notice the results

Calamity__Bane · 2021-11-13T08:33:17+00:00

Generally speaking, if you're progressing along well with a set you should stick with it. That definitely does not mean clinging to girls that aren't into you, but it does mean that when you hit it off with a girl you find attractive enough, the best use of your time is to escalate and close. I remember many a night when I had a solid 8 in the palm, ditched her to try and snag a 9+, and left with nobody because I'd gotten way too cocky for my own good. Don't be that guy, unless you're specifically working on consistently snagging the creme de la creme, odds are the girl you're with is fine.

I, in contrast,am more focused on the night. Having a good time and bringing good times to those around me. This doesn’t lead to me pulling.

Quick question - does pulling count as a good night for you?

StJupiter · 2021-11-13T16:26:57+00:00

While I can’t attest to the specific behavior of other guys that you’re describing in this post, I relate to the core message of what you’re saying. I’m the same as you and always focus on the fun of the party or social event, but watch other dudes around me pursue and chase with good results all the time with methods I would consider too forward and borderline rude, yet it seems to work.

I don’t want to be a cocky douche and press women like I see the guys around me do, but it seems to get results.. honestly. It’s been hard for me to get around that, so I’ve just been approaching more and caring less. If I get rejected then that’s that no problem I just let it bounce off me and try again with another. That’s seemed to work.

So I guess what I’m saying is, don’t switch your methods too drastically, just approach more. After all, it’s mostly a numbers game.

2021-11-13T14:49:16+00:00

Being assertive and expressive with your wishes is required for getting a girl. Women desire to be desired, those guys act like assholes maybe from your point of view, but just try to remember how many girls go for that attitude because besides the obvious obnoxious attitude it signals " i want this/you and i don't care what i have to do to get it " and that's a go-getter attitude that a low of women crave from a guy. Of course, the best way would do it with charm and style, but if the woman has to choose between a guy that is obvious but puts in the work vs a guy who is too chill, too cool, too laidback, she's gonna go with the 1st most often.

"I, in contrast,am more focused on the night. Having a good time and bringing good times to those around me" - i call bullshit here, it's clear that you are focused on girls too so you're not owning that truth about yourself. Have the best of both worlds, focus on fun with friends but when you see a girl you like have initiate and balls to go for her, not expect her to come to you.

"I don’t want to act in a way that I don’t find natural but should I if it it’s result producing?"

Natural action will stem from your beliefs, is one of the belief that you should not chase girls? Are you confident in yourself? Can you keep entertained a girl while developing rapport and learning about her as a human?

norwegiandoggo · 2021-11-13T09:40:13+00:00

If a guy acts like you describe, he's most likely already fucking her or they have some sort of prior relationship. You're probably just unaware of that fact. Although, of course a guy who hits on women and try to go home with women will have more chances to succeed than some guy who is just dancing by himself all night.

Yagametrics · 2021-11-13T14:48:21+00:00

It will only work if you can do what they're doing without judging it, the way you're judging them for doing it. You may not notice it and don't be too alarmed at my suggesting it but you're being a hater. Which means you think you are separate or above those guys in some way. This can impede your learning as you won't see the success as it is happening in front of you. You will judge success and then erroneously separate it from yourself. This is where self-defeating attitudes can grow. You're both men who have men instinct and needs. It may seem like a riddle but you have to sit with the fact you feel nothing like these guys, yet you are a guy, and that they are getting laid.

theosamabahama · 2021-11-13T08:33:35+00:00

Just want you to know as a woman I would 100% rather go home with a guy who’s more focused on having fun and the night than being at my hip. Those other guys sound pushy, and aggressive. Some people like that, I guess, but it’s also easy for women to find that behavior weird and uncomfortable. Stick to your guns and be yourself, it doesn’t seem like it but the more comfortable you are in yourself and what you’re doing is when you’ll attract better people. “The Game” men play is all about numbers, and for women it’s not. Quality over quantity, and you get better results with that method rather than racking up so many bodies.

RussianBoa · 2021-11-13T07:54:25+00:00

Eh. Sticking to girls like glue and being persistent you say?

I guess some girls are like finee, if he wants me that much - why not lol.

No_Acanthisitta5052 · 2021-11-13T12:09:35+00:00

Well, this is your interpretation. You may not be fully aware of the conversations they are having etc. You perceive them as if they grind her ass until they close, however, that is only a partial and very naive view. Furthermore, you may not be a good conversationalist, you may have a boring personality, or a non-seductive one, you may be a creepy ‘nice guy’, the secluded party sideliner? Ewww!

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-13T10:35:00+00:00

They are not going home with these guys lol. It sounds like you are chill but maybe so chill that you actually a passive pussy who doesn't go for what he wants. Do you at least go and talk to these girls and show them that you want to bang?

sobrage · 2021-11-13T09:34:00+00:00

If you'll start doing what those guys are doing you'll come across needy and fake. What you're doing now is great, when you're having fun and providing fun you attract people. Don't switch up to be like the needy folks.

Title	Acting like other guys. I don’t want to but I can’t help but notice the results
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	42
Comments	15
Date	November 13, 2021 7:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qsw5f2/acting_like_other_guys_i_dont_want_to_but_i_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/acting-like-other-guys-i-dont-want-to-but-i-cant.1272391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272391

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