Beta friends?

bohemian_fappsody · 2014-03-19T18:49:32+00:00

I'm not really sure what an alpha is without betas. There's a leader of the pack, and there's the pack. Alpha and beta are pretty much defined with respect to each other. In isolation, I don’t see how one is alpha or beta, only potentially one or the other. And if you're hanging out with a bunch of would-be alphas, only one of you will be the alpha in that context - that's a truth not many of you have swallowed. I guess TRP has taken the original, scientific, and value-neutral meanings of these terms and run with them, so they don't really bear much relation to how the terms alpha and beta are used to in the context of other mammalian species (and yet, when convenient, many of you guys keep using those as bases of comparison and justification). At this point, alpha seems to simply mean, “A dude chicks want to be fucked by.”

In truth, alpha and beta are very contextual, particularly because human relations are so much more complex than those of other animals. In the military chain of command, for example, one’s superior officer is the alpha, and one’s reporting officer is the beta. This is simple logic. The structure breaks apart if the subordinate assumes a superiority over his commanding officer, or if the commanding officer cedes authority to his subordinate. Other than at the very top and very bottom, one will sometimes be alpha and sometimes be beta. The reason why so many of you probably reflexively recoil at such a thought ("Fuck you, I am, in every situation, the alpha!" - lol, right) is because the imprecise among us have decided to conflate "beta" with "little bitch." That's not what it means at all.

One can behave as a beta in a perfectly dignified manner – e.g., by showing deference and respect, where deserved, to ones father, one's boss, one's commanding officer, the best player on the team, whatever. As men, we are going to find ourselves in situations where we take leadership roles, and where we are being led, and either can be done with dignity, and either can be done like a little bitch. The only relationships where a man is, by definition, a little bitch when he's beta is either as a father (obviously, can’t be beta there), or as a husband/boyfriend/partner/lover - whatever you want to call it. Of course, failure to do be alpha in that situation is why most of you are here, so you see everything through that lens. Fine, I get it. Alpha means "good with chicks," and is probably then just what used to be called a PUA.

But if you are really alpha, in the true sense of the word, and you have friends who are beta, then you be their leader, god dammit, not somebody who is overly concerned about how those friends hurt your chances of scoring with some silly females out in the clubs. The alpha is not just somebody who is good with chicks, the alpha is a leader of men (and there’s nothing a girl wants more than a leader of men). If you’re not up to that challenge, then you’re not ever going to be the alpha.

A recent pop culture example that struck me in these terms was Wolf of Wall Street. There's no doubt that Leo's character (can't remember his name in real life) was the alpha. He was the man with the balls, the vision, the desire, and the ability to rise up and meet the challenges of making himself into a success (from a purely amoral perspective). And look who he surrounded himself with – dorky, middling guys seemingly going nowhere, who were starving for his leadership. He was the alpha, they were the betas, and he led them. And these men were changed by that leadership - they gained confidence, they learned to assert their will, they were rewarded for their successes, and they even became leaders to others. The main character wasn't concerned about making himself look good, he was concerned about making something of his life, and he was able to do so by leading other men to heights they didn't know were possible (and as such, he needed them just as they needed him). That's alpha.

[deleted] · 2014-03-19T04:14:38+00:00

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NikolaTeslaMGTOW · 2014-03-19T10:35:27+00:00

I have made the mistake of trying to talk to them about red pill. I think I need to test the water first or just not interfere. Maybe if I start doing well with women and my friends ask me tips I might show them.

Overall I feel like I just can't be honest with most people. I used to be honest to a fault but now I feel I must be guarded at all times. I mean would you rather lose a friend (Ive lost one recently) or keep them around? I almost feel like red pill will always be a minority and its best not to share it. Like the matrix, most people can't handle being unplugged.

I guess beta is ok but not beta along the lines of socially awkward omega types, or at least keep them seperate.

harkrank · 2014-03-19T14:25:24+00:00

My advice is to be careful. First of all people judge you by your friends, secondly a beta's behavior towards you will be like a woman's, that means they will treat you depending on what status they think you have and are not reliable. Being beta is a man adopting a female mindset.

This means you have to assert your status as the biggest and baddest for them to respect you. Otherwise they will do disrespectful shit such as trying to put you down in front of other people. Probably when you're not there to do something about it. They will not value your time or your other resources. Great friends bust each others balls in good humor. Betas will bust your balls without the "good humor" or "great friend" part. If you're not experienced it can be hard to tell the difference. The best way to do is to see how they treat you among other people.

"Omega" guys are much better. They have neither masculine or feminine mindset, they're simply not grown up. The problem is that other people, especially girls will judge you for being friends with them and that it gets annoying spending time with one of these guys since they are so clueless. However they can learn! And they make loyal friends. I think most of red pillers who were not "natural alphas" have come from being omegas. And it's a much better starting point because you have nothing to lose.

Don't you think these beta friends of yours who are orbiting hot chicks also have done their best to destroy your game before you are being first introduced?

Like others in the thread I fucking hate these beta guys. They will be passive and judge anybody who tries to do something instead of doing something themselves. They will shit test all the time, but unlike a woman they have no reward to offer and the shit tests never end.

Remember this: If a man has an opinion about you or something you do, but is not offering any good advice that benefits you he is not a friend.

[deleted] · 2014-03-19T05:34:11+00:00

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lillojohn · 2014-03-19T12:46:49+00:00

Try to change them 2 times. Don't want to listen? Bye

eccentricrealist · 2014-03-19T02:21:29+00:00

It's good to have them as friends, but make sure your best friend is a natural alpha. You have to learn from somewhere.

[deleted] · 2014-03-19T04:06:02+00:00

I have some beta friends back home (I'm military) who are so plugged in they make me seem alpha. Thanks to them, I have had times where I had pseudo-AMOG status and have seen the payoff as well. I didn't realize this until now. I would have capitalized on more opportunities I had back then.

Maybe this only works if your beta friends respect you. I would go so far as to relate this to preselection.

rebuildingMyself · 2014-03-19T08:49:01+00:00

Surrounding yourself with betas doesn't help you. However, always be the cool guy and hang out with them occasionally (and buy the first round). You never know when you will need a favor.

PaulRivers10 · 2014-03-19T20:34:36+00:00

I don't think it's helpful to try to categorize whether people are useful based on alpha/beta/etc - just because I haven't found it to be useful myself. You have to watch the effect they have to decide. The different categories are useful/cockblock in different ways.

It's a real mixed bag - they both do a lot of the same things in very different ways.

An alpha will cockblock you by competing directly with you to get the girl. A beta will cockblock you by competing for your attention vs the girl (they're upset that you "left" them at the party, or they keep trying to plan mostly-guy friend stuff on nights that are the best for meeting women). Of course a better alpha friend will avoid creating unnessary girl conflict, and a better beta friend will not get upset if they know what's going on).

A beta will cockblock you be reinforcing beta attitudes and beliefs. But an alpha can cockblock you by never letting you get a chance to lead and get experience being more alpha yourself, often competing with you and trying to keep you from reaching their level if you're below them and trying to get to their level of alpha status.

An alpha is more likely to be invited to the better places to meet women. Thing is, they're also less likely to invite you (why would they invite the competition?). Betas are less likely to be there, but more likely to invite you in the first place.

A beta usually makes a better long term friend if you don't count getting women - they're more likely to remain friends with you for a long time, more likely to do things like helping you move, more likely to stick with you when things are bad. But of course - they also tend to stabilize socially at a beta level, not an alpha level.

2 girls back, a very beta friend of mine introduced me to a girl I didn't know, said good things about me, then left leaving me free to keep things going with the girl without interference. Can't say I've ever known an alpha to do that. And it sure made things easier for me.

On the other hand, I was leaving a dance place at 2am with a girl who had offered to drive me to my car - only to be cockblocked by a beta friend who proceeded to keep a conversation going for the next fucking hour standing outside the place. His beta brain didn't think "I'm probably cockblocking this guy" it thought "wow, I love late night conversation, so this is a good time to have a conversation!".

(While he was interested in the girl to, he had no idea he was cockblocking me - when I talked to him about it that's what he said, he apologized, and never did it again. And yes, I realize it would have been more alpha to find a way to get her to leave the conversation, but I didn't realize that at the time - and I could tell she was interested in both of us - I didn't want to leave her there with him when he was being such a douche.)

So...it's a mixed bag.

carrotplanter · 2014-03-19T11:40:42+00:00

Now that I think of it if you're busy actually living your life I don't see how the traits and daily happenings in the lives of your friends should affect you and your frame. I realize this now since I've kind of lost touch with some of my closest friends due to having to focus on personal stuff recently.

nerdrhyme · 2014-03-19T04:33:34+00:00

So far I see beta's as necessary

Most 'beta' thing I've ever heard.

Title	Beta friends?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	27
Date	March 19, 2014 2:14 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/20ry28/beta_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/beta-friends.12777 https://theredarchive.com/post/12777

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