How do I spice up my sex life with my girlfriend?

recyclablebanthas · 2021-07-08T13:42:34+00:00

1

I met her while she was dating someone else and we’ve been dating for a few months.

First off, bear in mind that if she started dating you before she was single, she might not have had time to process the crap from that previous relationship.

2

When I met her I was a virgin, she was my first.

Recently , she let it slip a few times that she did certain sex acts with her previous partners.....

When I asked her if we could try these acts together she immediately shut me down.

What sucks is I genuinely want to do this with her.

I feel emasculated and humiliated because of this. I have started to resent her deeply and this whole thing continues to bother me a lot.

I don't like the idea of her doing things with other guys and casual sex partners that she won't do with me.

This last thing is really the issue. That she's done things with other guys that she rejects doing with you.

When we're starting out dating, it's easy to feel insecure and off-balance when one has less experience than their SO.

3

What should I do?

She knows what she likes. It's fine to discuss what she likes and what you want to try. Obviously you can't force it.

There's nothing to do if she doesn't want to try something with you, except to accept it. Or not.

4

She is my first and I have had trouble meet women before her. I graduated from college as a virgin and started dating her right after

Another issue seems to be that you are apparently monogamous with her because you feel you can't meet anyone else?

Would that be fair to say?

But now that things are opening up, it's going to be easier to meet people.

College is not the end, for sure. Not by a longshot. I didn't start really making a social life for myself until after college.

Tip: look up social events and groups on Facebook. People post regularly occuring public events all the time.

You can find social groups to join. Easier than you think you meet people.

2021-07-06T23:10:04+00:00

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AelfredRex · 2021-07-07T00:07:10+00:00

Just ask her if she wants to try anything new. Plenty of things you can do without getting too out there, like switching up the foreplay or giving her an erotic oiled-up massage.

audreysourcream · 2021-07-07T23:50:08+00:00

have you ever considered that she didn't LIKE doing that stuff? that she regretted it? literally all of that shit is for the man's benefit, what pleasure would she get out of it? regardless, she's not your personal prostitute or sex doll, she's a human being with her own desires and fears and wants. she doesn't "owe" you anything.

Infinite_Relation_86 · 2021-07-06T23:08:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-07-07T06:46:27+00:00

Cayenne pepper and hot sauce food play.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-07-07T11:15:51+00:00

While hard to find, I think the book ‘sex god method’ by Daniel Rosen I think, would be helpful to read. You can find pdf on internet if you search hard enough. The main idea is that good sex isn’t about specific activities, but rather a set of intentions. Anyway, it helped me. I used to have a list of things I wanted to try. Still do but having an idea of the inner experience I am trying to crest in each of us has been more fulfilling.

AlchemistXV · 2021-07-07T02:53:07+00:00

it’ll be hard to overcome this man, honestly. to be blunt, she told you about swallowing another guys load but wont do it for you? thats a bit much.. that means if you were to stay with her you’d never get to experience that? idk man… something to think about

recyclablebanthas · 2021-07-08T00:04:40+00:00

you were a virgin when you dated her. what sex acts are you "missing" out on? sounds like to me you think of sex as a validation tool to impress other men
interesting how all these sex acts you want her to do are for your pleasure and her humiliation. maybe sit on that more and why it's so important for you to put her through pain to "prove" she's into you. what if a woman said you needed to spend thousands of dollars on her to prove your love? especially when you don't have thousands of dollars and would have to do something upsetting or borderline abusive to yourself to get that money? because that's essentially what you're asking her.
there are TONS of things you can do with sex. ask her to do new stuff she hasn't done before.
do you even LIKE your gf or care about her as a person... like at all? everything in this reads to me like you see her as some sort of masturbatory aid to use and give you all the sex acts you desire, because it's unfair she's not a virgin and you were. you don't care about her pleasure, you want her to purposely put herself thru pain to "please" you in bed (is it even what you like? because you've never done these things and i'm pretty sure you just want them because it looks good in front of other men/your ego).

this post reeks of masculine insecurity (typical) and you need to man up.

Cascadiana88 · 2021-07-07T05:55:50+00:00

Dude, she tried some things and found that she didn't like them. Or at least she didn't like them enough to try them again. There's nothing emasculating about this situation. You should not feel threatened or humiliated. Your girlfriend has a set of preferences and you should respect that. There's still a whole galaxy of sex acts for you two to explore together.

Hayden_Beroc · 2021-07-07T03:08:32+00:00

those thing that she really did with other guy means she like them enough to let that happen and if she do none of those thing with you (sad but true) means she does not like you that much.

I know its tough when dealing with women as they should be mesmerize with us when we slip them the D but in reality it's not.

My advice start approaching women you find attractive and as soon you get 1 or 3 lay start slowly but surely let her lose as she seems like she belong to the street bucuz she will never sees you as the amazing man you are or will become or not at all

Raffaja · 2021-07-07T23:12:19+00:00

Don't pressure or coerce someone into doing something they don't have any interest in doing, I'm more than certain you wouldn't like to be pressured either. It seems like she alresdy knows she doesn't like those activities, respect that or leave her and find someone else who is willing to do that stuff.

dirtymanbeast · 2021-07-07T00:26:31+00:00

Let her know that you want to try things that are new to you and that her sexual history excites you. Ask her which of the stuff she's done she liked the most and if there's anything new she would like to try with you.

If she still shuts you down, you have to think about you desire to stay with her or not. If the two of you aren't sexually compatible that's just make you resent her more.

Infinite_Relation_86 · 2021-07-07T08:16:41+00:00

I would never stay with a girl that didn’t give me all of her. If she ain’t at the very least sexually submissive to me, why am I even there.

Atsena · 2021-07-08T03:12:10+00:00

Opening-Voiceover · 2021-07-09T06:29:50+00:00

Ouch

Title	How do I spice up my sex life with my girlfriend?
Author	YouGotMarinated
Upvotes	0
Comments	52
Date	July 6, 2021 11:06 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/of6e21/how_do_i_spice_up_my_sex_life_with_my_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-spice-up-my-sex-life-with-my-girlfriend.1281026 https://theredarchive.com/post/1281026

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