A lot of the advice I see posted here is honestly nonsense, I'd like to weigh in on how I improved my social skills, life and relationships with women. I'm by no means perfect and I have a lot still to work on but I totally turned around my anxiety with women and people.

There is no substitute for experience. About three years ago I had crippling social anxiety to the point of having zero success with women, it was really bad and I struggled to talk to anyone never mind just women. A job opportunity came up to be a bartender and I knew that if I wanted to get over this hurdle, it was the best job I could have to do it. So I took it, for five days a week, I talked to dozens of people every single night as part of my job including lots of really attractive women. It was also my job to entertain them, get them relaxed and create a good atmosphere at the bar. Whether I liked it or not, I was forced out of my comfort zone. I had no excuse or way out of it, I was behind the bar and if a girl decided to walk in and sit down, I'd have to chat and entertain her until she left. I've met and talked to probably a thousand girls now, through work mainly and it's changed me entirely.

The main lesson I've taken away is that I can't really trust myself and I think the same is probably true for every guy here. Look, as a man, you will never understand why she is attracted to you. You just can't understand as a heterosexual man and you never will, so stop trying to! stop trying to adjust yourself to be what you think she wants because you will always be wrong. Too many guys judge themselves purely based on their subjective view, like hello, you don't have a vagina so your probably not going to look at yourself and get aroused. That doesn't mean that women don't, it's different, women are aroused by things you never will be. It's just how it is. So just accept it. Accept the fact that you will turn women on by just being you and you will probably never know why. It's one of the reasons sex and relationships are so exciting, someone is appreciating aspects of yourself that you overlook every day.

Once you accept that, you'll realise that you really don't need to do much else other than just put yourself out there and relax. It's almost as though this is naturally supposed to happen. That men and women were always destined to get it on. She is attracted to your natural qualities and you are attracted to her natural qualities so relaxing into those will almost always result in sex.

Once I realised this, it changed everything, it was like giving the controls back to nature, it no longer seemed like something I had to do. If I was going up to a girl I liked to say hello, that's all I had to do to, trying to guess whether or not she would find me attractive beforehand wouldn't make the slightest difference because I am not a girl, I don't know what it's like for her to be attracted to a man, so my opinion is irrelevent.

So just go say hello, accept that you will never know why she is into you and it might surprise you how many girls are turned on by you.