Tinder killed my game

TheXXL · 2019-09-19T10:34:37+00:00

Think about it, what are your expectations? Judging by that post, you expect this to be a job you have to do to get your reward, and this is the problem. Better would be to enjoy the process of talking to new women, bantering, flirting and then making it a date. This way it doesn't drain you and it doesn't feel like a chore.

Also, why do you not do what you want? If texting is not what you like, and I understand that, get to the point after ... what .. 5 messages, maybe? You have nothing to lose, since you never won anything in the first place by texting forever without getting anywhere. By the way, online dating is counterproductive for men since there are what feels like 80% men, sending mass messages to every girl, while the few women are feeling validated and don't have to put in any effort at all, since they know they have the choice between hundreds of men every day.

rich_god · 2019-09-19T10:40:23+00:00

setting up an actual date is a nightmare and I just become their texting buddy

How ? How do you manage to become their texting buddy ? It's not something that just happens, it's something that you deliberately choose to become (and that's fine if that's what you like).

"Hey, wanna meet ? I'm doing X on saturday, you're welcome to come along if you want" is not very hard to text.

I don't even feel like talking to women in real life anymore since I feel like it won't lead anywhere

Talking to women (and people in general) is practice, it doesn't need to lead anywhere to be valuable.

drewcer · 2019-09-19T12:22:03+00:00

Set up the date on Tinder before you ask for the number. Then the date becomes the reason you got the number instead of something aimless.

smoothmax · 2019-09-19T13:44:57+00:00

There are Tinder guides and text/messaging guides out there written by coaches who have a lot of experience on Tinder and a lot of experience helping other guys. Don't keep knocking your head against the wall if for a few bucks you can get a wealth of advice and tips.

Handsome_Claptrap · 2019-09-19T16:00:12+00:00

Aim to set up a date within 10 texts if it's a short intervals conversation, less if it's a one message every few hours thing. Try to use her pic or bio instead of generic canned lines.

If they say no, just answer "ok" or cut it short, basically, don't make it a big deal. Text her again after 2-3 days (even with a single "hey X, whats up?"), start with some limited small talk, then try to have a fun and playful conversation, the objective is to get her on a good vibe, then you can try to ask her out again. Try to avoid asking for the same activity.

There are pretty much three ways to ask her out:

Would you like to do "insert date"? Dont' specify the day. If a girl looks always busy and active, this is the way to go.
What are your plans for the week? (or weekend). If she is free, suggest one, max two dates like this "I have time on Friday for an aperitif or on Sunday afternoon for a coffee".
I'll be in Example Square for a drink this night, if you want to join me send me a message few hours before. This is perfect if you have a group of friends you hang out regularly, just actually go there (or nearby) with them, you'll have fun even if she doesn't come.

If she refuses again, an option is trying to understand why she doesn't want to hang out trough an assumption or joke:

Maybe a coffee isn't adventurous enough for you? Would you like more to "insert crazy activity"?.
Oh don't tell me you don't drink, i don't trust those people, they have something to hide and they would spill it with one glass too many. (this works well where i come from because a very limited number of people doesn't drink)
So you are one of those girls that are here just for hookups? I'm not that easy pal, i'm afraid you'll have to go trough all the stages, roses, serenades and everything.

You can say pretty much anything trough the right joke. Most likely they'll offer an alternative or clear up the reason they don't want to hang out. If they ignore you or keep saying a simple no, tell her something like "well it's been fun but chatting with a stranger trough a screen gets boring fast, bye!" and wait a few days before unmatching.

Title	Tinder killed my game
Author	throbaso
Upvotes	3
Comments	5
Date	September 19, 2019 10:27 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d6c3bd/tinder_killed_my_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tinder-killed-my-game.1290654 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290654

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