I have recently discovered that chatting on Tinder is only for an opener and logistics. I am actually getting more dates now, it's still not perfect as I still get "maybe" when I ask some girls out, but a major improvement nonetheless.

My upbringing was in a very strict religious cult. I have been out for 6 years, but didn't start dating until last year. There is definitely some garbage left in my head from this as being chaste and the belief that people are innocent, especially women, these beliefs were part of my daily life and I never got to develop flirting skills until now.

My problem is that I struggle with escalation, my dates never go anywhere. I make it fairly obvious in my bio that I'm only looking for hooking up, "I'm in town until x date" is in my current bio. So I just need to not waste my opportunities now.

I have bombed my last two dates by not escalating enough or not escalating at all. The one date were I did put my arm behind her chair, when we were at the bar looked at my arm, my mind instantly thought she was uncomfortable with it and I moved it.

I somehow managed to line up 3 strong date possibilities this week alone. An 18, 25, and 38 year old. They all know I'm not here for long and going back to college so they must be DTF, right?

How do I fight this fear to offend / scare off? I'm boring them and lose them anyways. I'm trying to find the balance of verbal and physical escalation to use. If we are in the middle of the date and like each other, what is acceptable and what is too far?

Ugh, any advice would be appreciated, these should be homerun dates, but I keep fucking them up and blue balling myself.