A lot of us have the same problems when we try to pick up girls. We are afraid to approach because we feel like it is inappropriate, like it is weird, like we are creepy. When we walk up to girls we have no idea what to say because they are a fucking stranger. Once we’re talking, we are afraid of escalating or showing sexual interest because, again, they are a fucking stranger and its weird to try to fuck a stranger. I mean, most of us would find it bizarre to start talking to somebody in the line at the grocery store, much less trying to fuck a super hot girl we met at a club. On top of that, society continually tells us that it is creepy or inappropriate for men to approach girls and hit on them, especially in certain situations. A lot of girls say this too. In fact, there are a lot of girls that get a kick out of shutting down guys that approach them in the rudest way possible.

No wonder a lot of us have approach anxiety and what I call “escalation anxiety.”

But yet, the game tells us that we have to approach and escalate. What gives?

Here is the thing: picking up girls is weird. Don’t deny it. IT IS FUCKING WEIRD. Walking up to a complete stranger, striking up a conversation, and eventually trying to fuck them is fucking weird. It contradicts almost all of society’s normal rules, everything we have been taught about how to act, and many of our deepest emotions. And guess what? The vast, vast majority of guys cannot do it. Sure, a lot of people can approach when they are drunk or if they are feeling super confident or whatever, but there are very few people that can consistently approach strangers in all different kinds of situations.

But here’s why approaching and escalating works: human emotions are weird. As much as human beings like to think that we are rational creatures that want what is best for us, we are really highly emotional creatures that don’t really understand our emotions. The same ardent, purple hair feminist that writes a nasty blog post about how men should never approach women they don’t know in public might get swept off her feet and have a one night stand if the right guy approaches her in the right way. And she won’t know why – she will just ride the wave of emotion because even though she is taught to not do that, her biology is screaming at her differently. It’s a common saying in the PUA world that you can’t ask women what they want – this is partly true because women don’t want to admit the dark side of their own emotions. Society’s rules are designed to take into account human emotions, but there are some really weird emotions that society’s rules just cannot accommodate. Also, many of society’s rules are actively designed to suppress our weirdest emotions – if it weren’t for society’s rules there would be a line of girls at Drake’s house every day.

So here is the solution for you guys: You need to pretend you are from outer space. In other words, you need to approach PUA as if none of society’s rules apply, none of what you’ve been taught is true, you make your own rules, and you are completely unaffected by people’s negativity, creep-shaming, and “earthly” concerns. When a girl starts boring you with her meaningless anxieties, you need to cut her off and talk about something awesome. When a girl tries to put you down to see if you are “confident” you need to laugh like an ant just walked in front of your skyscraper.

In short, you need to be TRANSCENDENT - a man who rises above the monotony, boringness and stupidity of daily life and introduces something new and exciting that they cannot find anywhere else. Women want a guy that will take them on a unique emotional journey that will thrill and excite them. They want a guy who will walk towards the border of what is socially acceptable and confidently step over it while laughing, forever altering their understanding of what a human being can do. The same way we don’t like spoilers for our movies, women don’t want a guy where they know what’s going to happen next. This is also partly why women are attracted to confident guys - women also want to feel safe – they want to fly but they also want to know you can land the plane safely. This type of thrilling, weird, new emotional experience is so rare and hard to find that women are willing to overlook A LOT of other shit to get it. For example, if you are a famous EDM DJ and you can show a girl a world she could never experience otherwise, she won’t care if you’re short, ugly, etc... I mean, look at how much pussy Skrillex gets.

Many of you are crippled by approach anxiety because you are trapped in society’s rules. If you are in line at the grocery store and the girl in front of you is super hot your brain may tell you “you can’t approach a girl in line at the grocery store. Are you crazy? The grocery store is for buying groceries. If you try to approach this girl, you will look like a weird creep and everybody will look at you funny.” That is why you need to think yourself “I am Zoltran, from the planet Gurblezyx. In my planet, it’s completely acceptable to approach girls at the grocery store. In fact, that’s where we find our wives.” Under society’s normal rules it is weird to approach a girl in line at the grocery store, but to her, you may be the man of her dreams and she would love to talk to you. She may be afraid of approaching you because of society’s weird rule that you shouldn’t talk to strangers at the grocery store. You can’t follow society’s rules if you want to be successful with women (or at life).

Of course, girls don’t like guys that are weird in a bad way – for example, don’t smell bad or spend all day playing Pokemon. You should also be a decent person, so don’t approach people at a funeral or ruin your friend’s party by trying to fuck everybody there. Also, even though women want men who test boundaries, you shouldn’t test boundaries that make women feel like shit. Obviously don’t say disrespectful shit or make her feel uncomfortable. And even for the most adventurous of women, there are times when shit gets too intense and she just gets too weirded out. But if you know where the line is, and you can dance around it, being a space alien is a huge plus. I go to clubs a lot and I see tons of bodybuilder type guys trying to look tough and intimidating – but the hottest girls don’t go for those guys – instead, they go for the weird, “bad boy” artist types. They go for the guy with the crazy haircut, tattoos, and weird outfit.

Why do girls like space aliens so much? I have no idea, but I do know that it is something deeply ingrained in the female psyche that men cannot really understand. I imagine that women are subconsciously attracted to the “alpha” male and the alpha male in a primate tribe is the guy that literally does not give a single fuck about anything. Even though the bodybuilder guy is trying to be alpha, he really looks like a beta because he is conforming to what every other guy in the club is doing.

The quote

Let me tell you a quote that changed my life. The English poet Robert Browning said “A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?” In my opinion, this IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUOTE for understanding seduction, or human psychology in general. Let’s break it down:

“A man’s [or woman’s] reach [the thing they want to get] should exceed his [or her] grasp [the thing they can actually get], or what’s a heaven for?”

This quote is basically saying that human beings are naturally attracted to transcendent things. They don’t just want good things they can get, they want something out of their reach. That is why we invented the idea of heaven – we aren’t just happy with the type of happiness we understand, we want a larger, more transcendent happiness, even if we may never be able to get to it.

When I was younger, I used to complain about the fact that girls were attracted to guys that didn’t care about them, or guys that were way older than them, or whatever. I now realize that my complaining was stupid – it makes perfect sense. Women want a guy that “exceeds their grasp.” In other words, women and men want somebody that is out of their league – we want somebody transcendent. As it should be – let’s say you had a sister. Would you want your sister to be ok with a guy who wasn’t constantly trying to improve himself or do anything better. Would you want your sister to be happy living in a boring apartment doing stupid, boring shit al day? No – that’s not how people were meant to live.

Take your average woman if give her the “perfect” guy – smart, good looking, good job, nice person, etc... She will say she is “happy” because society tells her that’s what she is supposed to be happy with. But deep down in her soul, she will feel an unease because she doesn’t want something safe and boring. She wants something TRANSCENDENT. She wants a rock star that travels the world doing awesome shit. She wants a weird, deep artist that will challenge her and take her emotions to extremes she never knew about before. She wants a fucking space alien. BE A FUCKING SPACE ALIEN.

Of course, this desire for transcendence brings people a lot of pain. A lot of men and women end up becoming obsessed with a guy or girl that doesn’t give a flying fuck about them, or worse, takes advantage of them. Also, our stupid monkey minds are easily tricked into thinking somebody is “transcendent” when they are not. A lot of women fall in “love” with a married guy and they feel like he is transcendent but really he is just unavailable and aloof because he has a wife. A lot of young people are easily tricked into thinking that a guy with a weird haircut that wears crazy T-shirts and listens to underground music is somehow “transcendent” when really, it would take you about 45 minutes at a thrift store to transform yourself into one of those dudes.

Now you may think to yourself “but I’m not a space alien. I’m just a normal dude with an average job who barely has the confidence to approach girls, must less pretend like I’m Zoltran from Gurblezyx. I totally understand. But like I said earlier, human emotions are weird and irrational – you don’t need to ACTUALLY BE A SPACE ALIEN, you just need to make the girl feel like you are one. Once you realize that it’s really just an act, it’s much easier to do and a lot more fun. You don’t need to actually be 1000% confident every moment of the day, you just need to be able to act that way around girls.

I have a friend who is a famous comedian. As you can imagine, girls lose their minds over him. They love his comedy, but moreso they are really attracted to his life: they think he is constantly traveling the world, hanging out with celebrities, attending crazy parties, working on awesome TV shows, etc... And he does do that stuff sometimes. But most of the time he is just writing, doing shitty bar shows, and watching Netflix. His life looks transcendent, but really he is just a regular dude who works very hard and grinds through some extremely boring and unpleasant shit to be successful. He only LOOKS transcendent because the entertainment industry is an illusion. He is not actually a space alien: anybody can be him, but most people would not actually want to live his to day to day life.

Go to my website: http://www.woujo.com