How to avoid text push/pull game turning into awkward power struggle?

double_whiskeyjack · 2017-08-18T16:13:29+00:00

It's all about precedent and expectations.

If you start off texting frequently she's going to expect that to be maintained if you're still interested. Once she noticed you change your behavior she adjusted accordingly.

If you had been an infrequent texter from the get go, using texts primarily for setting up dates and the occasional conversation, then you never would have had to change your behavior and she would have simply adapted to your style.

In other words, quit playing games with texting and you won't have this problem. Texting has a purpose and it isn't manipulation or mind games.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-18T19:31:13+00:00

I felt that her reciprocation in the relationship as a whole warranted me slowing things down a bit.

Important points:

Exactly how was her reciprocation lacking? Exactly what was she not doing, that she "should" have been?
Exactly what did slowing things down mean? What exactly did you do?

How do you maintain leverage in texting without having it turn into a negative thing?

Overall, don't play games. This has the dual effect of screening out girls who play games, and leaving behind the girls who don't.

Or, play games, and screen out non-manipulative girls, and you're left with manipulative girls.

midnight_toker22 · 2017-08-18T16:26:24+00:00

That is a great question and I don't have the answer... commenting so I remember to come back and check for other input.

I was in / am in that situation with a girl I was totally head over heels for and things were great in the beginning, but I made the mistake of texting too much early on. So when I noticed her starting to go cold, I backed off, and then when she would reach out to me, I'd wait to respond until a time that was convenient for me (typically 2-8 hours later). Then she'd take longer to respond. And then I would. And it just felt like a game of "Well you took a day to respond, so now I'm going to take 2 days to respond."

Things cooled off and we both moved on. I still hear from her sometimes, but whenever I do, it still feels like this stupid power struggle of "who cares less". I'm this way with other women too (usually don't respond immediately, don't initiate contact often unless I'm planning a date) and it hasn't been a problem, the power struggle is absent in these other interactions. Which suggests there are a lot of other issues present with "dream girl".

I think that the level of enthusiasm you're communicating is somehow important to the whole equation, but I don't have it solved yet...

FoxMcWeezer · 2017-08-18T19:26:44+00:00

I’m going to be frank with you, OP. This texting power game is never a problem when the individuals involved are quality people.

recipricating · 2017-08-18T18:09:53+00:00

right tool wrong purpose. text is to get meet up not to do the work you didnt do before hand, kno what im saying?

Jack__Knife · 2017-08-18T17:38:19+00:00

A. The one that cares less wins. B. Why do you want to win at texting, wouldn't you rather just fuck her?

Neolistic · 2017-08-18T19:37:25+00:00

Texting should always be a means to an end, and not to move forward in a relationship. Leave relationship progression to in person meet ups. Use texting to get together and plan dates while also conveying value in the process.

upandup123 · 2017-08-18T23:55:17+00:00

Most important I ever learned was not playing games.

I know it's kind of weird because this is a subreddit all about "game" and shit, but I think game is trash.

No body likes playing games (as seen by your girl) and the only people who do are people who will play games back to fuck with you.

Now I'm not saying you should be at her beck and call. Just be the person "the game" wants you to be. Someone who is busy and has a lot going on in life, and sometimes that means you can't text back in a timely manner. But when you do have free time, just text her how ever the fuck you want to text her.

souljabri557 · 2017-08-19T01:17:10+00:00

If you're not with me... then you're my enemy! Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must... you will try!

Force push, force pull

CrotchFungus · 2017-08-19T00:15:14+00:00

Text is not a good idea to waste your mental energy on. Just send her whatever you think is funny whenever you can. There's no need for bullshit mental games.

goldencelery · 2017-08-18T16:11:28+00:00

Well... Maybe try finding out what she wants and give it to her. Does she want your attention? Maybe she just wants you to be a man and tell her what you want. If you want space tell her. If you want more sex... Tell her

Don't play these mind games because everyone can agree, those are stupid.

Title	How to avoid text push/pull game turning into awkward power struggle?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	15
Date	August 18, 2017 3:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6uiiub/how_to_avoid_text_pushpull_game_turning_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-avoid-text-pushpull-game-turning-into.1305175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305175

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