Is there such a thing as “too nice”?

Yoloswaggerinit420 · 2018-07-13T03:27:27+00:00

Yeah have a spine. Girls don't like guys that are easy.. Dont be a pushover and dont be afraid to tell her no or that she is wrong and be selfish at times.

quinnmcd · 2018-07-13T05:07:26+00:00

girls assume being "too nice" as you're subservient. Most things nice guys do don't create sexual tension or attraction. You have to be confident and have to figure out and approach with women to where you let you know you're intentions aren't to be just friends

g10kumar · 2018-07-13T05:27:58+00:00

What I have learnt from personal experience is that being nice is not a bad thing. That is just you. Being humble and helping people is not a bad thing. Having girls as friend is not a bad thing. But not being able to speak your mind and suppressing your feelings is. It's possible to be a bad ass while being nice at the same time. How does that work? Fair Tit For Tat. That's what I apply to my relationships with girls. You don't text me, I text you once and if still no reply then that's it. You ignore me, I try to reach out once and if still continue with the same behaviour then I ignore you. This way I am still nice without being used or extremely nice. What I can suggest beside Fair Tit For Tat, Flirt and keep things playful without being needy.

mrmeisi · 2018-07-13T05:29:17+00:00

I suggest reading "No more Mr Nice Guy" by Glover. Your description seems fitting here.

nongo · 2018-07-13T07:21:58+00:00

Don't be so straightforward in the conversations you have with girls you're interested in. When you ask them a question or they ask you a question, be playful with it. Joke around to make things interesting. A lot of guys are just too straightforward in their communication with girls. It's boring and doesn't spark their interests in you as a potential romantic interest/partner. You have to take some risks in regards to what you say. The problem with being too "nice" is that you're playing it safe. You're not saying what's in your head because you're afraid of what she might think. A confident and playful guy would not take interactions too seriously and joke around. When you make a girl laugh, it brings their guard down, and if you are comfortable with talking about sexual topics in a joking manner, that is what will spark sexual attraction. You don't have to be an asshole to do this. Be a good guy, not a nice guy.

Icyduke1017 · 2018-07-13T10:07:20+00:00

It's likely you aren't showing people your real personality. Your more on the people pleasing side than being a unique character.

You don't have to be a douche. Just a real person.

toscano1100 · 2018-07-13T16:41:24+00:00

Nothing wrong with being nice. It all depends on how you set the boundaries of your relationship with the girl in the beginning. Two scenarios here:

1 You act as a friend from the beginning which could lead to either:

a) You become her friend as time goes by and remain a friend. i.e. Some of the guys that I've met have acted like friends in the beginning so I've had a much easier time friend-zoning them if I don't want to get involved with them any further. We started as friends, we remain friends.

b) You become her friend as time goes by but the girl is interested and makes a move to get you out of the friend-zone.

i.e. If both of you kept it friendly and she's definitely into you, she'd probably give you a clue or two that she wants to pursue things further in a more romantic direction. In this case, you'd have friends turned into lovers, boyfriend/girlfriend/hookup/etc.

2 You act as clearly not a friend from the very beginning:

a) If you are into the girl and you show that to her from the very beginning, she'd definitely know that you don't see her as your buddy and if she likes you things go forward.

i.e. When I met my first boyfriend, he made it very clear that he was attracted to me on our first date. The type of jokes he would make, the way he would look at me, the way he would move around me, the way he'd establish physical contact, etc. This tells me - this guy is definitely not a friend.

b) She'd definitely know that you don't see her as your buddy and if she doesn't like you things don't go forward.

i.e. You are not her type, no friends, no anything. No one is wasting their time or being friend-zoned against their will.

Female here and 90% of my friends are guys so I've seen it happen.

eyesopen1111 · 2018-07-13T12:42:31+00:00

Why do your friends-who-are-girls say that you are not boyfriend material? Ask them!

Also, try to ask some guys who are good with girls what issues they see in your game.

2018-07-13T16:10:30+00:00

Leadership - Women are looking for men who are like their fathers or father figures. Think of a man who leads any organization. He might be a great dude, very positive. But, there are times when tough decisions need to be made and "nice" is not the proper attitude for those decisions.

Being nice might sooth women in one regard. But, women also judge you based on how other men treat you and or respect you. Being "nice" only helps you in one regard of this situation.
Nice does not mean pushover or spineless. I have met men who are very nice, but served in the military....killed people, been shot themselves and were not people you would want to get in a brawl with. They had confidence, which allows them to be good people in the general sense. They knew they had the ability to be a killer, they had done it. So, it was no need to be a dick in common company. They personified the strong silent type, but they were respectful to all.
Don't friend your exes - Something seems soft to me about a guy that can't let women out of his life that don't fulfill their intended role. If my intention is to date a women and have hot nasty sex with her, have fun and have a high level romantic relationship, If she fails at giving me that or being compatible with that....why am i keeping her around? What purpose does she have? I see this as being indecisive and women do too.
You have no male friends, so the women in your life have no confidence that you can actually gain the respect of male peers. If you can't be a leader among men, women won't trust them to even lead them anywhere.

brandon123456789evan · 2018-07-13T22:13:39+00:00

Fake nice is the problem.

Nice is not.

Be genuine.

Title	Is there such a thing as “too nice”?
Author	yetianus
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	July 13, 2018 2:41 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8yg7ge/is_there_such_a_thing_as_too_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-such-a-thing-as-too-nice.1305684 https://theredarchive.com/post/1305684

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