Alright, so...got the girl, we're dating, and it's great. Any tips from you wise sedditors on how to be a good boyfriend?

MrRisky · 2010-09-11T03:37:06+00:00

Never stop gaming. Keep her on her toes. "Be the dangling string"

MisterBTS · 2010-09-11T03:08:21+00:00

heartsutra · 2010-09-11T13:10:34+00:00

You're right to post this to r/seduction, because she's got a history of dating assholes. (I'm female/married and was never particularly attracted to "bad boys".) Women say they want nice guys, but in practice they often don't, so I'm impressed with both of you that you've made it this far (i.e. you getting romantic with a longtime friend and her finally going out with a nice guy).

Honestly, it sounds like you're doing a great job. The way you handled the drunk groper was perfect -- you didn't act like an asshole, but you stood up for her properly.

im_a_walrus_B · 2010-09-11T21:05:30+00:00

OK. PU is like a time compressed version of the relationship. You need to do everything you do during a good pickup, only - instead of doing over the course of a couple of hours you do it over the course of several months. So - be surprising. Dont take shit or compromise your core beliefs. Bring value (dont just demonstrate higher value). Also remember to be present and not be a fucking robot like many newly minted PUAs tend to be. Also - pay attention to reality (you seem to be doing that to some extent) if she had a string of assholes, and jealous, controlling, abusive assholes in her life - thats what she likes, not the abuse and jealousy but something that goes along with those traits like an imposing presence, or retardedly self assured confidence, or bad sense of humor and pun jokes, or ability to play guitar badly, i dont know what it is but it works for her, so you - either already have it, or she is trying to do something different w/ her life and go for whats healthy instead of what tastes good, but you cant forever live on a broccoli diet if you love steak :) so become a bit more of a steak even if you are broccoli.

gozmeranian · 2010-09-11T05:22:13+00:00

/r/seduction is about the most effective way to promote yourself to women.

To continue the relationship you need to keep promoting yourself to her, but in a way that is win/win.

In other words, do not change from successful actions to unsuccessful actions just because your are involved.

cacheson · 2010-09-11T06:53:59+00:00

Keep yourself interesting. Keep improving yourself and trying new things. Bring her along for the ride.

PotassiumCarbonate · 2010-09-11T08:41:44+00:00

You're already in a good spot. She already considers you better than her exes, and you're not jealous anyway, so you've already dodged a big obstacle. Keep up the good work. Try to do little things. It will impress her more if you occasionally give her a 50-cent carnation 'just because', than if you try to be flashy with expensive dinners and whatnot. If you both like that type of thing, go for it, but just try to make sure that she feels special. Takes a lot of brain room, remembering favorite things and holidays/anniversaries, but it's worth it. Good luck, dude!

2010-09-11T13:33:10+00:00

This should be obvious but many people don't seem to understand: if a woman has a history of asshole boyfriends, it means she is attracted to assholes. It's not like she dated a few guys and they all happened to be assholes by complete coincidence.

I don't want to be negative but if you strive to be a more "passionate, desirable boyfriend in her eyes", chances are she'll dump you within 3 months. "It's not you, it's me, etc". I'm not saying you should be a complete asshole but you must be in charge. Make the decisions, be firm without getting angry, don't try to please her all the time, don't quit doing your own things because of her. Beware of her shit tests (a guy was "checking her out"? Ohhh).

That said, you can still be a nice boyfriend, go on a special date once in a while, give her flowers in random occasions and so on.

2010-09-11T16:52:07+00:00

Continue not to be jealous. It will drive her up the wall.

Arrogancy · 2010-09-12T14:05:38+00:00

Pickup (and the initial process of meeting people in general) is largely about artifice. Relationships are largely about honesty.

First: have you had the discussion where you decide whether you're allowed to date other people? I.e., are you officially "in a relationship?" It's important that this be clear to both parties. I know; talking about the relationship sucks. But not talking about it will suck much more later.

Second: She probably isn't giving you shit when she tells you she likes the way you are in bed. People's physical pleasure is strongly attached to their feelings; there are arguments that this is stronger for women, but it applies to both genders. But put in an effort; you can always get better at pleasing a woman-- believe me, this will work wonders.

Third: One of the smarter girls I've dated (whom I'm dating now) summed up a relationship very well: "Caring about another person's happiness." Make this your guiding principle. If you're not sure whether something is a good idea, asking her is an ok thing, but don't do this to the point where it becomes cloying. Also consider that people (men and women) aren't always aware of how they feel, or why they feel it. Pay attention to what she does and feels, not just what she says.

ArMcK · 2010-09-11T04:42:20+00:00

Check this old post (especially my comments, lol).

I'd add to that check DiCarlo's Pandora's Box to figure out what "type" your girl is so you can get her devoted to you, but also so you can nourish her heart the way she needs it.

jesussaviour · 2010-09-12T19:37:00+00:00

fuck her mouth

Title	Alright, so...got the girl, we're dating, and it's great. Any tips from you wise sedditors on how to be a good boyfriend?
Author	alternateusername
Upvotes	7
Comments	21
Date	September 11, 2010 2:59 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dcd1g/alright_sogot_the_girl_were_dating_and_its_great/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/alright-sogot-the-girl-were-dating-and-its-great.1311712 https://theredarchive.com/post/1311712

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