Ever since my wingmen have all settled down with girlfriends, I've been on my solo game.

So I lined up two girls for the weekend. The Italian [8.5] and the German [8]. The Italian I met through a mutual friend a few months ago and she contacted me through facebook to tell me how she thought I was hot. I played it off like "Trying to get in my pants I see. I'm sorry but thats not going to work, I've sworn off Italian women, you girls are psycho." Anyway, after much talking she wanted to meet up for drinks, so I obliged.

Started off well, whenever I am nervous I talk alot and make jokes, so this really helps the process along. I already knew she wanted me, so this was a chance to brush up on some topics and fuck with her head. The whole time I was just making jokes about her and she was taking them very well. I made sure to call her out on anything that could be considered her hitting on me. "Why are you trying to touch my hand." "Quit mirroring all my actions." "Are you curling your hair with your finger because you want to fuck me?" Haha. Then I would combo it with some silly negs when she'd respond with "Maybe, why does that bother you?"

"Did you know that the human body finds compatible mates by comparing immune systems with the other person by an exchange in saliva? This is why everything is decided with the first kiss. If the two people are not compatible, the person's natural taste/smell will be displeasing."

"Are you trying to say you want to kiss me?"

"No. I'm trying to say you stink. Notice how there are no people sitting at the table behind you. Hahaha"

"... Good well I don't want to kiss you anyway."

"Please you couldn't even get through that sentence without licking your lips. You are such an open book, I could give you spoilers."

"... Oh yeah? Like what."

"Well I can tell you that I like how you cook French Toast. I don't want to ruin what happens before then just yet."

Anyway, this goes back and forth for a while, me telling her stories of my last acid trip and then making fun of her by almost passing out by laughing too much. Then we get out of there, I pay the tab and make sure to give her shit for not paying anything. She tells me she'll make it up to me. I blame her for making me smoke so many cigarettes (Because I'm nervous) so therefore she has to buy me some more. [I've found it helps if you are as rude and cocky as I am to leave a little hint of 'weakness' so that she feels she has a way in.]

Anyway we hit up the gas station, and shes buying me cigarettes while I blab about "Wow. I must have some serious game, you're taking me home AND I'm getting you to buy me cigarettes when you don't even smoke. I am the fucking man." The guy at the counter laughs, she gets embarassed and we get out of there.

I told her I am looking to find some bud, she mentions that she has some at her house and that she still owes me I can come over and have at it. We make it back to her house, she lets me smoke her weed (apparently she doesn't smoke weed or cigs, so its all me.) We start making out, I excuse myself to the bathroom [I was so high her bathroom freaked me out so good, but thats a story for /r/trees]. I do my pre-sex ritual: Pee. Wash hands. Steal closest mouthwash. Gargle. With wet hands, fix hair. Flex in front of mirror. Spit out mouth wash. Give small motivational speech and go get it done.

I go back in there and work my magic. When it comes time to penetration, it seems my alcohol/weed levels has affected that ability, if you know what I mean. So she's all ready to go and I just tell her "We shouldn't be doing this. I barely know you." Haha. She is furious and horny, and decides to grind my leg as I fall asleep to her saying "omg I hate you so much." I laugh some more.

I wake up in the morning, and decide to make up for the previous night so we bang, I smoke a cig, tell her to get her ass to the kitchen and make me some breakfast. "I don't know if you remember, but the only reason I fucked you is because I want some damn French Toast."

She took me to a diner instead and bought me French Toast. :)

End of Part 1.