Finally built up enough courage to call her on the phone and ask her out... damn its rough stomaching a rejection.

MrPantaloons · 2011-02-11T20:16:53+00:00

yeah. move on.

wildcardpua · 2011-02-12T05:48:19+00:00

This is why I think texts are good for setting up meetings. Also, try and phrase everything as a command. You'd be surprised at how effective that one little pre-send-button tweak can be.

Observe.

AFC: "So maybe if you have free time this weekend would you like to see a movie with me?"

Tweak #1: Stop caring about whether its convenient for her.

After First Tweak: "Would you like to see a movie with me this weekend?"

Tweak #2: Don't phrase this as a question. Phrase it as a command.

After Second Tweak: "I'm going to see [movie that isn't very good so that there are ample kino opportunities] this weekend. Come with me."

Notice how you no longer seem needy. You're going to do whatever you want to do, and she can take it or leave it. You're controlling the frame.

She can respond in several ways.

Response #1: Yes.

Reward her for this with a quick reel/release. Perhaps call her (that's much better at building rapport).

Response #2: I can't this weekend but what about [some other time].

This is good in that it's an IOI, but do not reward it. Instead, playfully tell her that she needs to somehow make up for messing up your plan. Or, propose some other thing at a time that does work that isn't the movie, which is consistent with the idea that you're going to see this movie with or without her, which is consistent with you not being needy.

Response #3: Sorry. I can't.

Do not reward this with attention. Don't reply at all. Call up some other girl or, better yet, sarge someone new. It doesn't mean the war is over. This plays into the bigger theme, which is that you aren't needy and that you have other shit going on. If you're lucky, she might wonder where that attention went. That's part two of the bigger theme: being unpredictable.

I hope this helps!

Listro · 2011-02-11T23:42:07+00:00

Let's see now...

Don't ask her what she's doing
Say "we should" do this awesome thing or something along those lines and then go on to say what that awesome thing is "Hey, we should go see this awesome band that's playing on Saturday it'll be better than the 80's" or some shit like that
If she says "no" once to the weekend invite you don't try asking her out five times in the same conversation after that. Talk about something else and invite her to something later on when it's a brand new conversation
You're too focused, sensitive, "OMG it might be the end of the world"esque on this one girl on this one phone call which is why you're so "hey wanna go do this? No? How about this? No? How about this?" it's like that little puppy in the looney tunes cartoon trying to hang out with the big dog
Just cause she didn't want to hang out this week doesn't mean it's over
Restart a conversation with her sometime in the future and say, "hey we should go do this fun thing" or something along those lines
It's never over, buuuuuut you should vary how much and what kind of effort you put into things depending on results you are getting
Don't sound sad when she says no to something. I don't know if you actually did sound sad on the phone, buuuuut that's the impression I get from how you write
It's ok to talk to a girl and not ask her out at that point. It sounded like she listed a whole bunch of things she was doing that weekend...big class project, her mother, some show, bla bla bla. Talk to her a bit and then peace out or ask her out on a tuesday instead of that weekend since you know she was that busy.
I don't mean to suggest words to use (as I sort of did with number 2 and such), but I'm trying to suggest more a general vibe and approach that might be more beneficial to you. Of course, try things out, keep what works and discard the rest

chumpta · 2011-02-11T22:17:18+00:00

war=over

delete her # and her facebook if you have it, cut all contact off. not to look cool or aloof to her or anything, do it for yourself. it may feel good, surprisingly.

seddition · 2011-02-11T23:27:50+00:00

way too much equivocating. You had so many maybes in there it was painful. Don't even ask what her plans are because you shouldn't give a shit. Just say "Hey there is a show I'm going to on _____. It's going to be awesome. What time should I pick you up?" If she makes an excuse for not being able to go say "Cool. Have a good weekend", then try again a week or so later. You don't have to make it out to be such a big deal.

Title	Finally built up enough courage to call her on the phone and ask her out... damn its rough stomaching a rejection.
Author	MisterSlippery2012
Upvotes	3
Comments	21
Date	February 11, 2011 8:14 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fjnuw/finally_built_up_enough_courage_to_call_her_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/finally-built-up-enough-courage-to-call-her-on-the.1315474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1315474

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