[FR] So I dug up some confidence to ask a girl out for the first time...

acartoontiger · 2011-03-25T06:53:07+00:00

You dug your own grave. If I were a high school girl (as I often masquerade) I would have rejected you even if we were friends. People with confidence and charisma don't ask people out over facebook... especially if she has never spoken with you. What were you thinking? I don't mean to sound harsh but I view this as constructive criticism... don't do that again. Stop her in the hallway and tell her your friends dared you to ask out the hottest girl you could find, but now that you appeased them with the facebook message you want to do it right. See how she reacts, you appear to have nothing to lose.

RothbardsGhost · 2011-03-25T01:59:37+00:00

Do it in person next time. In fact, use this as reason to go and talk to her at school.

Go apologize for doing it online, pay her a couple complements, and then ask again but make it seem playful like it doesn't matter to you.

BTW... totally unrelated, but be prepared for the next decade to fly by. As soon as you get out of high school the real world catches up QUICK. Nobody bothered to tell me. Don't fuck around, get shit done and try to enjoy yourself while you do.

mandyperki · 2011-03-25T03:53:28+00:00

I would say try having more than one facebook chat with her since you say you have never met her or talked to her really. Give her a chance to get to know you a bit/talk to her friends and find out about you. In high school I would have been totally intimidated if a guy asked me out before I knew who he was.

THEhankMOODY · 2011-03-25T05:05:03+00:00

In high school and beyond just put yourself in as many situations as possible where you can talk to women. Just chat with them about whatever seems natural while paying heed to ideas like escalation and kino, and do it on their level but while never forgetting that one thing I and most had trouble with in high school; you're the fucking man. You talk to her because you want to, not because she is Aphrodite or Venus immortal to be worshiped.

The most important thing though is to just put yourself out there, so great job on that front, albeit perhaps many lessons were learned!

DaseanWilliams · 2011-03-25T05:28:36+00:00

Alright I can definitely see where your coming from being a high school senior myself.

First of all, don't even worry about being rejected, it happens and the best thing you can do is to stay positive. The big thing you did wrong is, of course, the method of asking her out via facebook. Especially being that you had never talked to her before, talking to my female friends I know this gives off a huge "creeper" vibe. Its not good. But you know what? Thats okay your learning. Who gives a fuck. Though if your still fixated on this girl my advice to you would be try as much as you can to get over her and take on the abundance mentality.

The biggest thing I think that you need help with right now is confidence. Just realize this: YOU are the fucking man! I know it may be hard to do much about your social standing this late into high school but keep on trying.

Good luck man.

philosarapter · 2011-03-25T13:56:22+00:00

Adorable.

A few pointers to consider in the future:

Hang out with the girl first before you even consider dating, let her get to know you, and get to know if you actually like her (or if you just like her because she's pretty)
Don't worry about how you come off... just do what you normally do and be confident in who you are. "Be comfortable in your skin"
Always have important discussions, such as asking someone out, in person. Girls know how hard it is to work up the courage to ask someone out, they also know how much courage it takes to ask them out face to face... they are attracted to courage, they find it admirable. So the more things you are able to overcome (including your own fear) in order to ask them out, the more flattered and attractive they will feel and the more attractive you will come off to them. It takes little to no courage to ask someone out over facebook or text, but it takes alot to walk up to her in front of all her friends and ask her.

Anyway, no sweat, you're young, you have alot of girls yet to meet. Hundreds more. Just focus on getting better each time.

PUAfundamentals · 2011-03-25T17:26:42+00:00

Here's how it should have been

You stop her in the hall and say

"Hey I see you around all the time, who are you?"

You make small talk. You look for a keyword, something she likes, or should like that you like that you two could do together. Then you say

"Hey I've got to go, but maybe we'll [...] sometime. See you later"

She swoons. Then you do some cool shit on your own time. Pretty soon you run into her again and say

"You again, are you stalking me?"

Small talk

"So how about that [...]?"

If she doesn't remember your previous conversation, you're still fine. Tease her for it and suggest she make it up to you in some way, personal to her. (if she mentioned she likes baking, you suggest cookies, whatever)

Everything in this context is "hanging out". "Dating", and "pickup" especially in highschool are creepy. Now, as soon as the "hanging out" begins, follow standard seduction protocol. It's a date, you just don't call it that ever.

I feel creepy talking about seducing high school girls.

Title	[FR] So I dug up some confidence to ask a girl out for the first time...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	March 25, 2011 1:49 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gay53/fr_so_i_dug_up_some_confidence_to_ask_a_girl_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-so-i-dug-up-some-confidence-to-ask-a-girl-out.1316732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1316732

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