Confused about how direct to be in terms of kino (initial meetings)

ihaveacalculator · 2011-04-28T05:08:23+00:00

I would recommend following the DiCarlo kino escalation ladder: http://www.vindicarlo.com/DiCarlo%20Escalation%20Ladder%20-%20vindicarlo.com.pdf

2011-04-28T10:58:20+00:00

If someone can give me a run by as to how they start the kino process

DiCarlo has been mentioned already but the simplest way is "incidental kino". It is the fake accidental touching that happens when you stop worrying about the other person's space.

Say you need to walk by someone through a narrow hallway or in a small space like an apartment kitchen. Use your hand to let them know you are going by them and don't worry about brushing your body against them. When you sit down beside them on a small couch, don't worry if you are bumping them as you sit down or get up. If you are reaching for things on tables don't worry if you brush up against them or even use your body to lightly push them out of the way.

You aren't touching them on purpose using that method. You are doing something else (passing through the hall, sitting down, grabbing a glass of a table) and in order to do it you happen to make physical contact.

Once you get used to that move on to overt kino. Touch them on the shoulder when you are making a point or laughing at something funny they said. Touch their elbow when you are making a point in conversation. Put your arm around their shoulder when you want to show comradery.

lasagnaman · 2011-04-28T08:24:22+00:00

This is a perfect /r/askseddit question.
Are you familiar/touchy with your female friends? Basically do that.

heckz · 2011-04-28T06:21:52+00:00

You can bump into or lean against girls as you talk to them if you are next to them. Tap them on the elbow when you make points or when you give confirm something or basically anytime someone does anything. That can move to taps on the back as well and eventually you can increase the frequency/duration of the contact. then jump into the escalation ladder. After some comfort I also like to pick and play around with various parts of their clothing/accessories as I notice them.

2011-04-28T13:38:24+00:00

I am having a hard time transitioning from not touching women much (to show my respect for them

What? How is this showing them respect?

I usually start kino by touching the girl on the arm while I am saying something directed to her. Women do that shit all the time so it is completely normal.

Being inexperience I would suggest that you try and push the envelope as far as you can and you will be surprised what you can get away with, but when doing this watch for cues that they are uncomfortable. Also, know that when you push to far a couple of times it will ruin sets so I wouldn't recommend you practicing on anyone you know.

puaCurveBall · 2011-04-28T16:07:23+00:00

The biggest key for me is all mental, it was accepting that it is ok that I want to touch women. I like the sense of touch, and I like touching women. This is not weird, creepy nor "nonrespectful" of the woman. Guess what? Women like to be touched by confident men.

I don't hide or cloak or deny this, and that is what makes my kino natural for me because I can just say "Give me your hand" or start touching their arm because I want to, for no other reason than I want to.

I think most guys are embarrassed that they want to make contact with the girls, or think deep down the girls don't want to be touched. This just isn't true.

ilurkokcupid · 2011-04-28T21:46:57+00:00

Here's what I do: I use touch to get their initial attention. Touch their arm and then use an opener, not the other way around.

This has the added benefit of ensuring you have their attention. When I open with words alone, sometimes the person doesn't even know I'm talking to them. That dings my confidence a bit and this rule prevents it.

Title	Confused about how direct to be in terms of kino (initial meetings)
Author	tranquilbot
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	April 28, 2011 4:52 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gz23r/confused_about_how_direct_to_be_in_terms_of_kino/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confused-about-how-direct-to-be-in-terms-of-kino.1317806 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317806

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