I'll be honest; I'm a short, shy, nerdy beta. What do?

puaCurveBall · 2011-05-10T22:16:41+00:00

What should a short, shy, dorky stoner kid do to close?

I'll make up something about having to work in the morning.

Not this.

And being alpha has nothing to do with being popular or a poonhound, or sleeping with a bar slut. Alpha is ultimately about living life as yourself instead of caving to social pressures, fear or other people. It is about having self-worth and self-confidence.

Alpha is saying "I was going to level my shaman tonight, but yeah I'll take you home instead" instead of making up something about work.

You need a base level re-framing of how you view women(or rather what women want), yourself and "being alpha". Techniques can help, but it isnt a lack of techniques that push you into making up an excuse instead of taking a girl out.

iamkiko · 2011-05-11T01:53:30+00:00

stoner look vs hygienic look. I smoke weed daily but I rock a good sense of style, to attract the type of girls I want to pull. Do you want to pull stoner girls?

Closing is easy, it's just doing it the first time and then you slowly get used to the logistics of it. Stop being so shy, gain some self-esteem by hitting the gym or whatever...

Most importantly accept you'll get rejected and soldier through it, you'll develop a thick skin.

p.s. don't try and act alpha.. Be alpha.

howdoiupvote · 2011-05-10T22:36:28+00:00

Alphaness is not always about being big and loud and calling everyone bro.

afcanonymous · 2011-05-11T04:03:20+00:00

I don't really want to try acting like an alpha. I'm fine with who I am and the few girls I've dated/been with have said that's part of my charm. I don't want to act like some popular poonhound just to wake up next to some bar slut and say "Yeah....You need to leave so I can level up my resto shaman. I indirectly lied to you about who I am, so you aren't going to be interested in seeing me again."

Don't come into this with preconceptions about who you will become.

The only things you need to learn are how to be confident, friendly and funny. That comes with experience and practice.

If you want to man up, you just have to work on it. Create a reward system. Here's an idea: No masturbating till you get a phone number or get rejected 5 times. You'll be surprised how quickly it'll work.

TofuTofu · 2011-05-11T02:14:05+00:00

You need some confidence. Maybe ask one of your lady friends to give you a makeover? Hit the gym a bit?

Plow through your AA and get some confidence in approaching women. It just takes a little bit of applied effort.

Your close should just be "Come back to my house and smoke some pot with me."

You are looking for a girl who smokes, right? Any girl who smokes will be happy to get some free pot. Then get nice and stoned and start making out -> escalate. BOOM, done.

You have it in you. Just start thinking about yourself as just as good as everyone else :)

2011-05-11T09:59:29+00:00

As TofuTofu said, you need confidence. This isn't about acting in a confident way - you need to be confident that any woman your path may cross will be improved by merely interacting with you for a short while.

Now, you fear rejection. There is a saying in Dutch: "If you don't shoot, you will surely miss." This means that if you shoot, even blindly, you could miss, but you can also hit. Get that into your head - you need to go out there, and try, try again, and try some more. And even try more.

Why is rejection so bad? You didn't try. You got rejected by yourself. That's even worse than being rejected by someone else.

At a certain point, you will have approached so many women, rejected so many times, you will not care any more (unfortunately, I'm not there yet).

My advice for you (I am not master of PUA in any way, shape or form, I am still learning), when you see a girl - look at her. Wait until she notices you. Eye contact. Smile and move towards her and ask her a question. This is you telegraphing to her "I want to talk". The question can be something like "Hey, can I ask you a quick question? I saw you standing there, and I wanted to come talk to you, but then I realized that I don't know what to ask you. So, could you tell me what I should ask you?"

bennymagoo · 2011-05-13T03:13:54+00:00

I used to have this exact same problem, short, shy, nerdy and regularly would make up excuses to myself as to why NOT to give it a shot with a girl who was clearly interested.

What really helped me start to get my act together was just simply making a conscious decision before I even step outside my door that I actually DO want to pursue girls. Going out with a solid mindset as to what YOU actually want out of the night means that when you have that sharp urge to excuse yourself out of a situation, you already know that you've made the decision to stay and its just a matter of fighting through that fearful reflex. In my experience this makes it much easier to say: this is something I want, and I've already made this decision, therefore I will not shy away.

As a nice side effect, I've noticed that going out like this gives me much more confidence because I know that I am doing something for myself, not just trying to please other people.

Idk if that makes a lot of sense, and its probably a bit TL;DR, but it helps me.

Title	I'll be honest; I'm a short, shy, nerdy beta. What do?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	26
Date	May 10, 2011 9:44 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/h8g08/ill_be_honest_im_a_short_shy_nerdy_beta_what_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/ill-be-honest-im-a-short-shy-nerdy-beta-what-do.1318138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318138

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