Eye Contact

sithyiscool · 2011-07-06T05:15:33+00:00

Most people will break eye contact with you. If you now start thinking about eye contact, you'll probably over think it for the next few weeks. This is normal, as the normal subconscious acts of breaking eye contact is now in your mind. Anyways, use this to your advantage for a while and talk to more people. You'll find that most people, in a conversation, will break eye contact a lot. They'll hold it for 15 seconds, break, look back etc. They'll hold it for 5 seconds, break, look back. When they need to process a thought, they'll break.

Eye contact has a rhythm like any other conversation. After you observe people for a while, you'll eventually internalize it and wont think about it anymore. And you'll also have better eye contact overall. Notice too that the more alpha and social people will hold eye contact longer and be less likely to be the one to break it. Have a conversation with a IT Tech Support guy vs a hot waitress.. You'll see.

Nevertheless, you might want to try to also have softer eyes you are making eye contact. There is a big difference between the "STARE" eye contact, and the "I'm just looking at the person talking".

AnotherSedditAccount · 2011-07-06T05:29:12+00:00

First of all, it's ok to break eye contact in normal conversations. You just want to make sure that you are maintaining it most of the time.

Secondly, try not to stare into the eyes of the person you're talking to without changing up. There's this idea of triangles, where your eyes go from one eye to the other to a third point (which determines the kind of interaction you are having). Check out r/bodylanguage for more info.

l3fth4nd · 2011-07-06T08:09:01+00:00

It gets a lot more natural over time. When you're approaching girls eye contact is key and really easy to maintain if you just keep the mental note, she should almost always be the one to break eye contact first. When I approach a girl I'm almost always looking directly into her eyes or where her eyes would be if she was looking at me. The times I break are to focus on someone else, on small takeaways(not conscious, when I'm actually just bored with the conversation), and when I have to finish a thought. When I'm thinking about something I deliberately break, finish the thought, then go right back to her eyes. After getting used to gazing into the girl's eyes whenever you approach you'll notice how she'll instantly lose a bit of attraction if you break it early to react to the environment. It also puts you into state rather quickly and makes it incredibly easy to see how into you she is based on how dilated her pupils are and what she's doing with her mouth.

For dudes, I'm not sure, eye contact is great but there are power dynamics at play and it can get awkward if you're forcing it.

deeeekz · 2011-07-06T11:23:53+00:00

I can't remember where but if I recall when you are talking to the same sex if you keep a longer eye contact your are alpha'er over the other one who breaks it more often. Now when you are talking to a HB play the eye contact like a game. Like tell yourself I want you and your eyes become flirty. I do this a lot and I've had some comments about girls telling me you got nice bed room eyes right in the middle of conversations.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-07-06T14:07:10+00:00

There was a good discussion of eye contact in the book "What Every BODY Is Saying." It says that eye contact can be ambiguous, meaning anything from hostility to sexual interest, so you have to use facial expressions as cues to interpretation. In other words, smile when you look into her eyes.

2011-07-06T17:09:18+00:00

Well, think of it this way.
They still didn't break eye contact? They probably think it's normal, right?
What you are doing is taking what you think is not normal, and put those thought in the head of the other person. I don't know how it's called, but stop thinking for other people.
If the other one think it's weird, why don't they break contact then?
Must not be that weird then, right? Just observe and match for each person.

2011-07-07T00:03:12+00:00

It is extremely strange at first to get a feel for proper eye contact. I remember going to sleep with eye strain after a day of talking to people and paying attention to eye contact. Basically you should be the one holding eye contact most of the time, switching back and forth from eye to eye when it feels appropriate and possibly sometimes looking down at their mouth or nose. When you are the one talking you may find yourself looking away to gather yourself or an idea, this is okay to but just resume eye contact as normal afterwards. As for how intently you should be staring, the best advice I have been given is to use the "I know something you don't know" look. Try it out and try it often

Title	Eye Contact
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	24
Date	July 6, 2011 4:59 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ihuf9/eye_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/eye-contact.1319996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1319996

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