I've been in and out of the game for about 4 years now and more or less know my shit and can do pretty well, but I have one massive thing holding me back, I have almost 0 self-confidence.
Basically every time I close it is because I was able to hide the fact that I am entirely unsure of myself well enough to fool my target. I can't tell you how many times I lose girls who are otherwise very interested because I refuse to dance or because I show submissive body language to their friends or because I actually sabotage myself by saying that this girl is too good for me, or that I am a loser to some extent (implicitly or explicitly), or just remove the veil for a moment and let the girl see what a scared and insecure child I am inside.
At first I figured this would go away once I started to get more action, but even when I am doing decently well (having 2-3 go to hookups, and 1 or 2 in the pipeline is well for me - since it's all relative) I still feel this way. Weirdly even when I build to this high point I'll usually destroy the relationships I have within a day.
Also if I see an ex or I girl that I have gotten with, I'll start shaking and look for ways out (take a different route walking, pretend I didn't see her, etc.). But no approach anxiety or anything, when I know that I'm going to have to fake confidence and have some time to put my gameface on I can pull off the charade - the problem is that I don't function like this on a regular basis and am in fact quite nervous and scared and unsure of myself.
Because of this huge hole in my game, I've pretty much hit a wall where I can sometimes pull a girl in for a night or two - but then I will flake out or the girl will lose all attraction once I can't keep up the act anymore.
So yeah, do you guys have any techniques on building general self-confidence? I'm not talking about getting in state here, just stuff that will actually make me feel more confident on a regular basis.
Thanks for any input.
[–]biffyboy 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]imthe1nonlyD 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link