Dating the sexually repressed: How do I get her to open up to me?

hefnetefne · 2011-09-28T23:04:13+00:00

I don't think this is happening. Sounds like she's made you her gay friend. You've given a greater degree of emotional investment to her than she has given physical investment to you. It's not balanced. Sure she's given you a few kisses, but this is quickly declining. Meanwhile, you've cuddled and watched movies, comforted her when she was tired, even given her an awesome foot massage. You deserve as much physical investment as she deserves emotional investment. A few kisses and a hug are not enough to repay the amount of care you've shown her.

Emotional investment is great, but unless it's reciprocated physically to an equal degree, you become a friend, a non-sexual being.

Women don't know what they want. Don't take their advice on dating.

puapsyche · 2011-09-29T02:19:55+00:00

No offense to you, but it didn't seem in your text that you've actually tried to physically move further to initiate sex. Am I wrong? Perhaps she just needs to be guided through every step...

Anonypus · 2011-09-29T02:56:51+00:00

She doesn't initiate physical contact, does not respond to flirtation, when we have some couch time, she won't generally respond to my touching (like if I pick up her hand to hold it, she won't hold mine back). The most she will do is place her head in the crook of my armpit, and maybe put her legs over mine.

She is responding by not pushing you away. That's all the signs you need.

With this kind of asian woman, she wants you to lay there limply / fake a little struggle while you take off her clothes and then fuck her. She just doesn't want to take any initiative because she will feel she's a slut or something (that's the sexually repressed part). This is completely normal.

Just take off her clothes and fuck her. Don't try to take her to bed though (that can set off alarms for her, she doesn't want to do anything to "encourage you" or give you explicit permission, that would make her a slut). That's what you're going to have to do to progress. It's easy, it's going to work, try it, trust me.

Chrisx711 · 2011-09-29T03:19:06+00:00

Get her drunk and initiate sex doggy style. Then reach around and firmly squeeze both her nipples. When you have a good grip, tell her this is her sisters favorite position and hold on as long as you can. Works every time.

2011-09-29T05:03:19+00:00

Get her drunk. She will rationalize it.

bink1time · 2011-09-29T09:01:59+00:00

Op have you been with alot of asians? They don't do any of the work for you.

Just lay her on the bed and deal with the lmr dude. I'm not really understand what the problem is....Just show her your penis and get to it. What do you expect her to do take it out for you?

basreps · 2011-09-28T22:57:38+00:00

She's using you for cuddle time without actually letting it get romantic.

This is easy.

You just "lose interest in her". Stop calling so often, make her call you.

When she starts complaining, just say something along the lines of "it's just not the same as it was in the beginning" and keep it vague.

Her female brain will interpret this as: I'M LOSING HIM, BETTER UP THE ANTE

She probably still won't put out at this point but she might let you finger her.

Unless you have the patience to repeat this procedure as many times as it takes, you don't have any chance at intimacy with this woman, and as far as the longterm goes she's either sexually frigid or she's banging other dudes on the side as you read this. Either way she's not what I'd call a keeper.

bigpaulie2 · 2011-09-28T23:08:39+00:00

Personally, I would say two weeks is jumping the gun a bit. Some people are comfortable with sexual activities within the first few dates, while others may wait months to see if its "right". I would be patient and see how things go.

Alternatively, talk to her about it. Bring it up casually and let her lead the discussion so you may get her input openly.

porphyry3 · 2011-09-29T06:24:42+00:00

Escalate physically. If she complains, freeze and do something else, like checking the mail and play video-games. Lead the fucking game.

2011-09-29T07:15:46+00:00

acahol

feedthekitty · 2011-09-29T00:09:31+00:00

To me it sounds like you're second guessing yourself a lot. Saying she wasn't as into kisses and such. And nowhere in this post did I see the part where you made a move. I mean I'm not trying to be a dick by saying this but it sounds like a junior high type situation where two people who like each other are waiting for the other one to admit it. It may already be too late but my advice is make yourself seem sexual and confident next time you see her instead of platonic. Don't overanalyze the way she is "responding" to foot massages.

Title	Dating the sexually repressed: How do I get her to open up to me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	September 28, 2011 10:47 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kulmm/dating_the_sexually_repressed_how_do_i_get_her_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dating-the-sexually-repressed-how-do-i-get-her-to.1323085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323085

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