So, I had a crush on this a girl.

Rlight · 2011-10-07T17:01:23+00:00

Slow down. Do not chase. It was probably overwhelming for her, you just met the girl and if the wall post was anything besides "It was nice to meet you!" then you're going too fast. Girls like to prune their wall and make it look pretty, if she took what you wrote as creepy (or just plain didn't want to respond) then she likely took it down.

Progression from her view:

A) Meets some guy, he's alright

B) Oh hello again, nice conversation during dinner

C) Facebook friends - that was fast

D) Facebook chat - okay we have nothing to talk about we just had dinner

E) Wall post - I don't like this, I'll just delete it so I don't have to respond

F) Omg he messaged me the same thing... this is creepy. I'm done.

2011-10-07T17:08:04+00:00

Use Facebook to keep in touch with your friends. Don't use Facebook to seduce women. Use personal interaction for that.

sphegetio · 2011-10-07T18:52:15+00:00

You messed up by making her the center of your world. Don't focus all your attention on her as if trying harder will make her like you more. Doing so actually does the opposite because it comes off as creepy.

Don't just focus on one person. That's one of the best ways to sabotage yourself. Talk to more people and be friendly to everyone. Don't make special exceptions for anyone or try extra hard to adjust your schedule so that you can make time just for them. Have your own life and be your own individual. Feel free to invite people to do things with you, but only when it makes sense based on the current context. Otherwise you come off as extremely needy, and stalkerish, especially if you are as aggressive as you described yourself in your post.

Don't feel like you need to appease girls in any way to make them like you. TREAT THEM AS EQUALS, or at least the same way you treat your guy friends. Doing otherwise SEEMS EXTREMELY WEIRD. Do you write wallposts on guys' walls right after you finally get a chance to talk to them? Then do you freak out if they delete it? And wonder what you did wrong? And worry about how you would phrase what to say when you ask them why they deleted it? I wouldn't give a shit, and you definitely shouldn't either.

df16 · 2011-10-07T14:53:23+00:00

It's hard to say without seeing how she was responding to your conversations, but my first guess would be that you did too much too soon. Dinner, Facebook chat, wall post, and an inbox on your first night meeting her could have freaked her out a little bit.

Not sure how everyone else might feel, but unless you absolutely hit it off on your first meeting like this guy, play it cooler and take it slower as you build a friendship and then, hopefully, relationship. Wait a day or two before chatting her. Wait too long, though, and she could forget about you.

HeatDeathIsCool · 2011-10-07T18:04:54+00:00

You've got the confidence, which is great, but don't be too overeager to assume a girl will never take negative action if you push too hard. I've never heard of someone successfully posting something on Facebook just to have it get "lost" at a later point in time. OKCupid does this sometimes, but not Facebook.

I'm not saying you should have assumed the worst, but the winning move would have been to back off, since under option B you were clearly moving too fast on her, and even if it fell under option A there's no harm in waiting a few days to chat her up.

Marcob10 · 2011-10-07T15:45:44+00:00

You did too much, especially with facebook.

Why did you have her as a facebook friend? Because you asked for her number and she gave you her facebook instead? That would be a first strike, indicating that she's not attracted enough to you to give her number.

Talking to her the same night wasn't that great either, you gotta learn to space out your interactions. Then you directly post on her public wall, big no no! She probably didn't want to be publicly hit on by that needy guy she just met. At this point you should have gave her more space but the private message was the final nail in the coffin.

Here's my experience with facebook. Sometimes I meet a new girl and adding her to facebook has become part of the process of interacting with her. Like everyone else I'll look through her profile and unfortunately, I don't always like what I see. It can be really trivial things like the girl makes 5 wallposts a day, likes Jersey Shore, has 2,000 friends, writes poorly...

Girls can be turned off by an unattractive facebook profile, all of this is kinda superficial, but it's the reality.

cookiem0nster · 2011-10-07T16:35:37+00:00

Scrap facebook and being so quick to chat her up. Chatting on facebook so soon to me (and probably her) means that you probably don't have much better to do besides sit around and think about/chat with her. Don't be quite so eager during these interactions, remember that in the end what happens doesn't matter - be outcome independent - cannot stress that enough. Play it cool, disregard facebook for a while and move on to the next one. NEXT! :) Now go get out there!

2011-10-07T14:47:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WolfInTheField · 2011-10-07T19:47:01+00:00

For future reference, this belongs in askseddit, I think. Apart from that; did you notice any discomfort when talking? Did you do anything to piss her off? If you didn't, you cockblocked yourself by pushing too hard.

you messaged her twice in a row, that's too stalkerish. Take note for future reference, my friend :)

Title	So, I had a crush on this a girl.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	29
Date	October 7, 2011 2:30 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/l45aa/so_i_had_a_crush_on_this_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-had-a-crush-on-this-a-girl.1323523 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323523

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