Getting and keeping a LTR using Seddit's approach

Hi Seddit, long time no see.

I'm one of those low-profile guys who started lurking a couple of years ago, sent a lot of FR, practised, learned how to get laid, and now I have an amazing gf. I guess it's time to return something to the community.

The only valid advice for getting girls on the whole Reddit is here, so disregard anything posted at /r/relationship_advice and other subreddits. If you don't know why, you need to read more seddit.

I will focus this on three topics: what a girl wants, how to deliver it, and how to keep the spark on a LTR, from my experience. Your mileage may (and will) vary, but the basics are covered here. There's lot of information on the web, so read, read, read, read, never stop reading seduction texts.

I am not going to get into the escalation ladder, which you should know, or how to have sex with one girl. You need to learn that first. I'll cover only the part after that one, i.e. the aftermath and next days. There is definitely a gap in seddit, where FRs and texts usually stop after getting laid because, well, that's what most people are here for. I'll try to help you in converting a nice girl into a girlfriend.

I'll keep this account for some days and I'll be really happy to answer any questions in the comments, then delete my username as I always do from time to time.

What a girl wants

Girls want:

1. Sex
2. To be appreciated and loved and treated right
3. Stability, i.e. peace of mind

Do you see the common point here? It's easy. To get a girl, start with the sex. The route which is portrayed in movies (Friends -> Love -> Sex) is 100% wrong. It will lead you to nothing or worse, friend zone, a concept which I loathe, but easy to understand.

A girl might have sex with you, but not want to be in a relationship. However, women have their seduction techniques, too. They use sex as a man's IOI. They evaluate not how you fuck them, but how you react afterwards. Do you fuck and leave? Do you try to get her to the orgasm no matter what? Do you do oral and care for her? All these are interest indicators for a woman.

Back to the question. To get a woman, follow this route:

Sex -> Flings -> Friends -> Love

The girl will be analyzing you with every step, as each one shows something about your personality. You'll gradually uncover yourself to her (and vice versa) as with every step she digs deeper in your feelings and true self.

If you're a real nice guy, you should have no problems after step 2, your real trouble are steps 1 and 2, right? I have only one advice for you: have the fucking balls to kiss her and tell her to go to your place. If you don't lead, she'll leave.

Now to the route:

1) Sex.

How do women think about sex? They see a guy, imagine him kissing her passionately, maybe sex, then they start to develop an attraction for the guy. They don't imagine "oh I guess that's a nice guy, maybe I can do him a favor and kiss him to see what happens". The guy needs to take the initiative to fulfill her fantasy of being kissed by him.

It is said that a guy doesn't need to be attractive, he needs to be secure. That's right. I'm going to simplify that further: he needs to have balls and be interesting. How do you become interesting? That's fucking difficult. But whenever you're with a girl and she points to some guy and says "hmm, he's interesting", take note. A girl will not say "he's handsome" or "he's sexy" or "I want him to fuck me". She'll say "he's interesting". My gf says that, for example, George Clooney is interesting where DiCaprio isn't. She says, "yeah, DiCaprio is cute, but I'd definitely fuck Clooney" while her eyes open wide. Appeareances are deceitful. Watch James Bond movies. Look after your posture. Read more seddit.

Being interesting is the ultimate compliment you can get. My gf told me she went after me because I was "interesting". She hardly compliments me physically, not because she doesn't love me, but the opposite: because a physical compliment doesn't mean anything to her.

So, be interesting: don't show your cards quickly, let her draw them one by one. Make her work for information about you. Ler her surprise herself by discovering cool stuff about you that you didn't tell her.

2) Flings

Assuming the sex went well, actually, unless it was a total disaster (not always easy the first time with a girl, anyways, whatever happens, never make a big deal about it), you will want to see her again, and vice versa.

Spend the night with her, have sex, cuddle a little bit (or you'll be seen as a womanizer) and then leave. Say you have some responsabilities in the morning which require you to get up early and be ready, and tell her you'll call her. Your excuse needs to be believable enough but don't overdo it. She knows sleeping with you the first night would be weird and will probably be relieved if you leave.

The next day at about noon or evening, text her with something like "Last night was great... we'll definitely see each other again. I'll call you soon!!". That puts you in the power position, which you'll need to maintain the whole relationship. This is very important.

Call her from time to time, and gradually spend more time with her. You can go for some dates which should end up in sex. The first 3-5 times you should deliver a routine like date-sex-leave. Do not have "the talk" about any relationship. Do not bring it up.

If she asks, say "I like you but it's too soon". I actually said "I need more time to know you, what if you're a serial killer?? I've actually never looked at your wardrobe. Do you keep any dead guys there? Are them at least as interesting as I am?". Laugh about it but let the question slip.

3) Friends

If you don't want an LTR, stop here. Do not perform (3). She'll eventually jump to some other guy (or you with other girls), not because she doesn't like you, but because after some time flinging she'll get bored and want something different. Don't take it personally.

If you want a gf, continue reading. Of course, all this is conditioned to the assumption that she also wants to be your gf.

You want to transition to a friends-with-benefits model. Spend more and more time with her. Try to make her come to some place when you're having drinks with your friends, and introduce her to them. She's "a friend". Remember, she's a friend until you have "the talk" and both agree to be a couple.

There are three key items to make her want to be your gf:

• Make her be at your daily life. Have a drink with friends and make her come over. Pick her up sometimes after work. Go on a trip with her. Do not force her into socially awkward situations, e.g. family or double dates
• Sleep with her (I mean, after sex), wake up with her, have breakfast with her, get to know her friends.
• Talk to her from time to time and make an emotional connection, but don't spend too much time. 10 mins or some texts are enough. Take into account that she might be used to live alone or be super independent, while some other girls require constant attention. Anyways, try not to bee too pushy, and if she is, just wait some time to return texts and calls (you're busy, remember??)

After some weeks-months, she'll probably bring "the topic" up. That's also a shit test. She wants to see if you flake or show any AFC signs. You need to be strong and make it like it's no big deal. I was expecting it and prepared a situation where I jokingly turned that into a "business agreement" and act like she was making a big deal of it. Expect it and be ready. If you aren't, say "let's discuss this later" and think of something.

So, when you discuss it, make sure you both know what's going on and which is the expected outcome. You're going to be a couple, which means you're exclusive, you'll spend more and more time together, etc.

Do not move with her! Or you'll wear off too soon.

4) Love

You should wait more time for this. Do not declare love unless she does or after some more months. In my case, she's a very insecure girl (like many) so when I told her that I loved her for the first time, she said "ummm... I don't know... it's maybe too soon...". This means exactly that: she's not ready. No big deal. Act like nothing happened and, trust me, she'll say "I love you" sometime soon. Until that moment happens, do not say it again, that only puts her under more pressure, and pressure is the man's worst friend, because it brings the girl's shields up. Just wait.

If she declares first, and you really feel like saying "I love you", say it. If not, say the "maybe too soon" speech, but keep in mind, those words are worth more for a girl than for a guy, so try to be graceful again.

After this step, congratulations! You're a couple 100%.

My advice would be not to move together at least until 1-2 years, but your case might be different.

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How to keep seducing her when you’re on a LTR

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