...over the last year I've been on seddit and it's worked out GREAT for me! I just want to thank you guys for everything!

I'm having an issue with my virginity, it's like a huge burden because I feel like I can't sleep with random women I meet that are below my "first time standards" because I want it to be meaningful and also because I want the girl to be attractive enough.

At the same time, I don't think a lot of these women are "worth it" for my first time....they're just some random girls that want to hook up, I'm not sure if I'm really very attracted to them but I'd sleep with some of them if I wasn't a virgin. but with random girls who want to have sex I feel like there's no emotional connection or love. I'd be happy to sleep with these girls AFTER I lose my virginity..but I don't want my first experience..first kiss, first everything to be with some random girl.

I sort of have these "first time standards" so I want it to be with a girl I can explore and practice enough with to get okay. I don't want random sleeping with people....YET.

However I'm unsure as to where I can find women interested in some meaningful lovin, exploring, or having first experiences with. I'm talking about the typical understanding more deep type of girl.

it seems every girl around me, at 21, is sort of past that "stage" and just want to have casual sex.

I just don't want a random hookup for my first time...and I don't know what to do. I'm getting OLDER and older and I'm missing out on great experienced with women I'd love to sleep with..women that I would probably sleep with had I not been a virgin...they're the type of girls that aren't amazing but aren't too bad either...but I want to just have that ONE meaningful first time..just once.... I have no idea what that entails...

I just don't know what to do...I'm probably rambling but I hope someone understands...can any of you offer any sort of advice?

I'm basically asking you how I can find the type of girl that would be interested in having some sort of meaningful sex with me, it doesn't have to be some crazy deep relationship.//or even an LTR..just something...meaningful..that feels right to me. Also I have to feel comfortable and trust the girl enough. One of my issues is I've never felt like I can trust, be open, or get vulnerable with ANY of the women I've dated. I can't open up about my inexperience. I'm looking for someone I can connect with.

I've learned how pickup random women from seddit, now I'm hoping you guys can help me find women who I can have more meaningful less shallow experiences with.

I hope I'm not insulted for my choices, I know I'm probably making a big deal of it..but I just don't want that kind of memory.