"Just be yourself" - the best (and worst) piece of advice you will ever receive

sirmcquade · 2012-07-18T22:31:56+00:00

Don't "just be yourself."

Be the best possible you.

diglyd · 2012-07-19T06:12:05+00:00

I agree with the fact that many people use the "just be yourself" idea as an excuse. Yes for most guys it is a cop-out from doing real work and getting out of the comfort zone.

However I do think that at one point "just be yourself" was a valid advice. I think along the way it has lost its meaning. I think the original meaning was more along the lines of "To thy own self be true", meaning live a life of no compromise according to your own values and what you in your heart believe is right, and true.

Do and be who you are without pretending to be someone else to impress a woman or co-workers or friends, and make decisions based on your "gut feeling" regardless of what the rest of the lemmings are doing. Basically be yourself means to be free from conformity and living according to rules based on discovering "self".

That is what I think the core of "just be yourself" really is and in that sense I do not believe that it is bad advice. The problem is that in today's society you got thousands if not millions of guys who are afraid to be "men" to live according to their own inner voices and to do things that they really want to do deep down but think its not correct according to what they have been taught by mass media and told men need to be like in society.

For example I have guy friends who will not go to a movie by themselves even though they love movies or they will not go and have a bite to eat at a sit down place they love without someone else with them. I know some who won't even go to a bar and get a drink if they are by themselves or do anything without someone else there to tag a long. They think you just don't do that in society. Why the heck not? Why would you deprive yourself and your true desires based on what you think other people think of you?

I know guys who follow the "get her number, wait 2 days then call" religiously. Why? Others won't be expressive on a date at Starbucks because if they wave their hands around they think everyone else is looking at them. Instead people have developed these dumb ideas on who they are and they have become the norm.

If they are on a date or in a relationship and a girl disrespects them, pulls some crazy shit, is late, obnoxious or just rude in order to test them or even later on shows inappropriate behavior they just let it go because they have no idea how to behave. Deep down they know its wrong but they refrain from speaking their minds and nipping that in the butt right then and there. Eventually stuff falls apart. If they were' Themselves" and spoke up problem would be solved but instead they just put up with inappropriate behavior because society has taught men to be doormats.

When it comes to their own shortcomings, bad habits, or attitude most guys know exactly what is wrong and what they "need" to do in order to live the life they want to live.

However often we as men do not make changes because some of our issues are so deep rooted, or have existed as part of our behavior for so long that it would take extraordinary moves and swipes where we in some cases would have to recreate ourselves from the ground up.

Usually this is just to radical and scary even though we know its right. Not because of the work involved but of the fear of what others might say about us if we changed everything. So what do we do? We say..." I don't need to change I am just going to be myself" and being "yourself" means being like everyone else, not making waves, not sticking out, not making drastic changes, and definitely not beating to the sound of your own drum.

This is why when we hear on the news or on reddit about people who dropped everything and went on some life changing trek or paid of their 100k in school loans in one year by cutting everything out of their lives, or who have basically made radical moves to redefine and recreate their lives form the ground up we cheer and applaud. Deep down we all wish it was "us". Most of the time we are just trapped living lives of quiet desperation.

So yeah I think that I should just be myself but to me that means being a man who is not afraid to live according to his beliefs in every situation even if its not kosher or it might sting a little, a man who is not affraid to make hard choices, to look at himself from top to bottom and do what is "just", "right" and necessary regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Its not enough to just be the best or do the best or about improving yourself. Its about improving yourself that is aligned to the "core" that is you regardless of what your family, your friends, your gf, your co-workers and strangers sitting next to you at Starbucks might think. Its not their life its yours. SO be true to yourself and be yourself instead of being what you think you should be based on someone else's idea of it.

..and that starts with listening to yourself and stopping for a moment to find out who you are and what the hell you really want out of this life. Very few people actually know themselves, actually know who they are deep down.

You can't be yourself if you don't even know who you really are. (especially if you spent most of your life worrying about what others might think of you).

TrippAdvice1 · 2012-07-19T00:18:04+00:00

Someone expounded on this topic very well a couple months ago, you should take a look it:

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tqgvn/why_be_yourself_is_the_best_advice/

Mr_Alex · 2012-07-19T00:30:36+00:00

No one has ever said >"But being physically active isn't who I am - I don't like that stuff so why should I do it?"

Title	"Just be yourself" - the best (and worst) piece of advice you will ever receive
Author	itsmevichet
Upvotes	17
Comments	13
Date	July 18, 2012 6:07 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wrrna/just_be_yourself_the_best_and_worst_piece_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/just-be-yourself-the-best-and-worst-piece-of.1335860 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335860

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